Episodes of self abuse may be "triggered" or brought on by specific feelings, thoughts or an event. A person may have been blamed for something that wasn't their fault and this could easily trigger an episode of self abuse. They may feel they are being rejected or even ignored by someone in their life that is important. People who self abuse themselves are so concerned about what others think that they become unable to identify and express their own responses. They get to a point where they need to get their feelings out and relieve them. Perhaps it is the only way they know how to express or relieve these overwhelming emotions that build up inside.

Most people who self injure remember being that way in childhood. As above in the story at the top of this page, the person "remembers" inflicting injury on herself.  Family problems in childhood is extremely common in those who self abuse. May feel they were abandoned and often were filled with hurt and pain. In some families there was actual violence in the home.  Often children were disciplined harshly and grew up following strict rules. It is these people that later in life may have problems over the years, problems that will also require help and treatment. While I haven't listed them all, there are more. Some of these problems may include:

Substance abuse - alcohol or drug abuse, even prescription medications.

Psychiatric Problems leading to hospitalization.

Eating Disorders  - Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating or Compulsive Overeating

Depression  Mild or severe.

Low self esteem, self -hate and shame.

Relationship Problems with family, friends and even coworkers.

Getting Help To Stop The Self-Abuse

If you are self abusive towards yourself or if your friend or loved one is self abusive, you need to seek help and understanding. Like any problem, if you don't understand the problem, you will never be able to take the right steps and measures to correcting it. People who self abusive need to learn healthy ways to deal with feelings and emotions and any problems they may have in their lives. They require unconditional acceptance and should never be judged. Self abusers and very sensitive and can quickly feel or sense rejection of others. While this may be challenging and difficult at times, it is very important. As an eating disorder does not represent a weakness or flaw neither does self injury, it is a way of problem solving and coping. It is important for everyone to keep in mind at all times. There are many ways to seek support. One idea is surfing the Internet for other websites that explore more deeply into the issue of self injury. I have basically touched the surface, there is so much more to learn and understand. While I have provided some links on this page, you can easily find more links on these sites themselves or by us of a search engine. I have also provided some books on the topic of self abuse. As always books can provide useful and more detailed information, personal experience, recovery and even methods of self-help. (All Books At Amazon About Self Injury) I encourage to borrow a book or purchase one in the near future. Lastly, talking to your family doctor is another way in which you can receive help for self abusive behavior. While many never admit their problem to doctors, it can be an important step to overcoming self-injury and ending it in your life or the life of your loved one. Keep in mind that a doctor is there to help you, not to judge you as a person or is just there to have power and control over you. Lastly and above all, there is hope for you to live a healthy life without self abuse. Like anything, this change comes gradual and takes time and effort on your part. You may not just wake up one day and decide you are going to change however, you may get so fed up of living your life the way that you are, that you are ready and willing to get the help you need to make that change. Please don't give up hope on yourself.

Self-Injury is deliberately hurting yourself without the intent to commit suicide. Besides self-injury, it is also reffered to as self-abuse, self-harm and self mutilation. The majority of people who self-injure are women. The main reason for this is that men tend to display their agression-hurt-pain outwardly towards other people or inantimate objects. Women, on the other hand, tend to turn that hurt and pain inward upon themselves. The majority of women who self-injure have been sexually or physically abused.

There are many methods a self-injurer may use.

• The most common is cutting (using razor blades or broken glass)
• Burning
• Scratching
• Picking of healing wounds
• Headbanging
• The breaking of bones.

• Relief from psychological pain
• Release of mounting tension
• Inability to feel
• Feeling too much
• Inability to handle any kind of feeling-good or bad
• Wanting to feel something
• Expressing anger
• And sometimes self-injury is even used for getting attention-although in the majority of cases this is not true.

Self-injurious Behaviors

Every year, thousands of kids engage in habits that result in their seriously injuring themselves. Cutting, burning and hitting oneself come under the official self-injurious behavior label: actions aimed at destroying body tissue without actually intending to commit suicide. Other actions such as reckless driving, drug use and promiscuous sexual behavior are self-destructive enough to cause us all concern. They can have serious and detrimental effects on the human body.. During my years in foster care, I saw a variety of destructive behaviors.

A 1986 survey done by Conterio and Favazza claimed that 1,000 out of 100,000 or approximately 1% of Americans engage in self-injurious behavior. Present reports indicate the problem is growing. It occurs in many folks during their 20s and 30s, but often begins in the teen years. Those most likely to be victims of self-abuse are kids with backgrounds of parental neglect, sexual or physical abuse and those with borderline psychological disorders. Women also are more likely to self-injure than men.


Why Self-abuse?
When a child learns to hate himself or blames himself for his life turning out badly and feels hopeless, he sometimes tries to harm himself. The methods vary, but often involve cutting, burning or even hitting themselves. Drug abuse, eating disorders, promiscuity, reckless behaviors and even trying to fail are more subtle ways to self-injure.

When we were foster parents, we witnessed abuse victims try to cut their wrists. There were times when boys in our home engaged in a systematic burning of their arms and legs with a lighter. It seemed to give them pleasure to be in control of their pain, possibly a substitution for the emotional pain they lived with daily. In many cases they hated their bodies that they felt betrayed them and blamed themselves for the sexual and physical abuse they had been subjected to. Thus, they felt unloved and deserving of more pain, which is often a reason for self-injurious behavior.

Subtle self-injurious behaviors, like driving recklessly and committing crimes, are also used by those in emotional turmoil. The chance of having an accident or getting caught is appealing to someone who self-injures. Trying to fail or doing something illegal, refusing to take medication, or neglecting one's health are other types of self-injury. Eating disorders, although not as overt as other behaviors, are just as serious.


Validation and Communication
The best antidote to hateful feelings about one's self is to raise self-esteem. These self-injurious kids need to feel good about themselves. They need genuine praise for things well done, and they need someone to validate their feelings and really listen to their troubles.

Do not make light of teens' perceptions about their problems. Teach them how to forgive themselves. They must realize that many things are not their fault, such as being victims of sexual abuse.


Seek Professional Help
But what about those kids who themselves are the perpetrators and are guilty of serious crimes? We worked with kids who did hateful, harmful things to others. These kids have a much longer road to recovery and need professional help. They need to eventually ask forgiveness of their victims and feel remorse. They must attempt to mend relationships with the help of a good therapist.

The therapist can bridge the gap between a feeling of hopelessness and a future for this teen. It will take time and lots of hard work.


Unconditional Love
Families are on the right track if they work on the problem from the unconditional love viewpoint, while keeping everyone responsible for their own actions. Loving a child unconditionally means no matter what she does, you will be there for her and support her. It does not mean acceptance of bad behavior, just the child, which is what so many of our teens today need.