So you are worried about a friend, relative.... and don't know what to do? It's a tough call but here are some things you can to do:

Don't Comment on theirappearance, or yours, in front of them. Never compare then to others. - examples of destructive comments: "you are too thin eat something" is not going to register - (can never be too rich or too thin )- they don't see this and may see this as a attack, out of jealousy. "if you think your fat, than I must look obese" (an anorexic sees others as they are. the only distortion is their perception of their own body.) "You look like a famine victim" - hello... they are and they know it. A comment like this may be taken as proof of their success in controlling their weight. 

Don't force them to eat. This is taking away the control that they think they have over their eating habits. instead initiate some form of control, have them make the decisions - "what do you feel that you can eat right now" - leave the rest to the professionals. They can deal with this best and they are better prepared to deal with the patient hating or being angry at them. (that's not to say they like having angry clients)

Do offer your support by listening to what the person has to say, and not passing judgments. a lot of people are already making such judgements, and they don't need it coming from there friends and family.

Don't take on all their problems alone. If this person is in school speak to the Guidance counsellor or the principle, or a supportive and confidential 3^rd party. E.g. A therapist, your doctor, or anyone who you trust not too tell anyone without permission to do so by the sufferer. If you are his or her parents you can try talking to your own doctor, or your loved ones. don't try to pretend the problem doesn't exist, I know how hard it is to admit that the person you raised is sick, and it is a mental illness, but it is important that you recognize it ASAP you don't want to lose your child. For more advice for parents with Eating disordered children visit this page

Do take the person to the ER if the situation is acute i.e. Fainting, low pulse, cyanosis of extremities or lips (turning blue), or general exhaustion, weakness, inability to function.

 

Do help them take the first steps to getting help. most people with eating disorders cannot admit that they need help and it is even harder to ask for it. that may mean especially if you are a really close friend of an adult sufferer making an appointment for them with a doctor and insisting they go for your sake. (be forewarned this will not go over well with the sufferer but essentially it is better than he/she not getting any help at all and it will reassure you that you did your best) 

Most importantly be gentle and considerate. The person is going through a lot because most likely the eating disorder is an extension of some other difficulty. 

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If you need anymore advice e-mail us at [email protected]  

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Are you the child of someone suffering from an eating disorder? visit this new page that includes an email from a daughter of a bulimic. 

This page is now available in a more complete pamphlet for more information on Anorexics Anonymous' pamphlets email [email protected]