I made the unfortunate mistake one time of asking God to give me patience. :>)
God does not "give" patience. It must be learned. It has taken me a lot of years, but I now have patience. Not PERFECT patience, mind you, but it is patience!
And when I use that patience that God allowed me to learn, I feel God's strength within me. When I show love to people that I do not even like, I feel God's strength. When I see that I have been a blessing to someone, I feel God's strength.
It took a few years to learn to recognize God's strength in my life. And in some ways, I am still learning! And very probably will continue to learn all my life.
So "Hang In There" purpleshack! You will come to know God's strength & love in your life. Just take it a day at a time.
God Bless You!