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Delivered from the Hurt of Abuse and the Scars of Sin
My Testimony of God’s Amazing Grace
By: Shelia Holcomb
Before I begin my testimony I feel it is important to give you some information on m
y childhood, so you will be better able to understand some of the decisions I made in my life, however stupid they may have been. But every decision I have made during my lifetime good or bad is what has brought me to where I am now and I am very thankful for the mountains and the valleys.
When I was born my mother was only fifteen years old and now years later and after I went through the process of forgiving her and working through many things, I am now able to look at her life through her eyes to try to better understand how she must have felt. Someone gave me this advice when I was really struggling with all of this, I was told that maybe I could forgive easier if I try to see her life through her eyes and not the eyes of a hurt child, you know what, it worked, I can understand her more clearly now. She was not mature enough to take care of herself much less a baby. So she would send me here and there to whomever would willing to take me at that particular time, most of the time it was my grandmother, several times throughout my life she would decide that she wanted me back and she would come and uproot me again. I never really knew any stability in my life and I always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me.
Then at the age of nine she came and got me and took me away from my grandmother which, really at this point of my life, was the only mother I had ever known and I was very attached to her. Anyway, my mother came and took me to Illinois where she lived, by this time she had remarried and she had two more children by her new husband. He hated me and the only reason I could figure out was simply that I was not his child. Now this was not my fault, although I did blame myself for many years. He started just physically abusing me, but at the age of nine that changed, he raped me and this abuse went on until I was thirteen and I finally told my mother, she didn’t believe me, actually no one believed me. Finally I just let it drop and I buried all of those feelings of anger and hate for years, that has now all been dealt with and forgiven and now it is all under the precious blood of Jesus, Praise God. I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Memphis to live with my grandmother and she consented just because she felt I was causing so much trouble and she did not want to be bothered.
Now my grandmother was now also remarried and I resented him for taking her away from me too. You must remember I was only a child and I felt like she was all I had and now I had lost her too. I was very hateful to him and caused so many problems, he was very kind and loving to me but I just could not accept what he was offering to me. My grandmother finally after a long struggle went to the courts and told the judge that I was out of control and they just could not handle me any longer, so they removed me and placed me in a foster home, the home I went to was wonderful, but at that time I could not see things clearly, all I could see was that the only person who should love me had now turned her back on me as well, I just wanted my grandmother so, I ran away. The courts then really called my bluff, so as a ward of the State of Tennessee I was placed in a Catholic all girls reform school for three and a half years. Now as I look back, I can honestly say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But at that time all I could see was that I was totally alone, unloved and unwanted in this great big world.
Now I will jump ahead some. In 1987 I lost my three children to their father and I totally lost it. I turned heavily to alcohol and eventually that turned into crack and cocaine. By this time I had lost everything including my dignity as I had turned to prostitution to support my drug habit. I was arrested several times on various charges, but I was never convicted and I never served any time, I know that God was taking care of me even back them in my sin, He saw what I would be one day in Him. I give GOD all the PRAISE, HONOR AND GLORY for all that I am today and all that I will be.
The drugs and my roaming had taken me to many places but on December 20, 1990 I came across a man that told me about Jesus and how He could deliver me and make my life an example to others. I had not eaten in a couple of days and he asked me if I was hungry, so he took me to a restaurant and bought me something to eat. The entire time he shared about Jesus Christ with me. He told me Christ could and would set me free if I was willing, and how He (Jesus), would give me a new life without all the pain and turmoil I was living in. Of course being a Christian does not eliminate us from pain, trials and tribulation but with Christ in our hearts He will give us the strength to overcome and withstand even in the worst times. I began sharing my life story with this man and he still said Jesus is the answer, and boy was he right. Right there I gave my heart to the Lord and I decided to live for Him and serve Him for the rest of my life.
I had been singing for many years and I had destroyed my voice through drug abuse, I just abused the gifts that God had given me. So I prayed and told the Lord that if He would heal and restore my voice I would use this gift for His glory for the rest of my life. Now, God has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. The songs that I sing and others that I have written they are all His I am only an instrument holding the pen. It does not matter where you are, Christ will come to you and meet you if, you are willing to let your life go and let Him be God of and in your life.
I have had so many miracles in my Christian life as I am a walking miracle myself. One of these miracles really stands out to me and I would like to share this with you as well. About four or five years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel condition, the doctors were not real sure what it was exactly, but they had come to the conclusion that with ulcers all through my body and many in my bowel system, they said they wanted to do surgery and remove some of the bowel. My reply was that I wanted to get prayer for this and that I believed that God was going to heal me and I will not need the surgery at all. They went ahead and scheduled me for another scope the following week, just a few days after Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve I placed a long distance call to a minister friend of mine and asked him to pray for me, he said no problem but he would need to call me back in a few minutes. While waiting for him to call back I got about ten bibles and placed them opened on the floor in a circle and one opened in the middle of the circle. When he called me back I knelt on the bible in the middle and said, “pray�? When he prayed for me the fire of God hit me and went through me, I had such a peace come over me. I went over to my bed and fell asleep (now Adam was put into a deep sleep in Genesis when God removed the rib to create woman) God did the same for me as I lay there sleeping He performed surgery on me to heal my body. I slept for seventeen hours and when I woke the bleeding had stopped and so had the pain, I knew without a doubt that I was healed by the precious hand of the Master. I was on about $400.00 worth of medicine a month and I went into the kitchen and threw it all in the trash. I did go back for the scope when I was scheduled and the doctors were amazed there were no ulcers anywhere and I just praised God for His healing power.
I am now an ordained minister and I am married to a wonderful man who is also a minister. We know God has put us together for a ministry and we are enjoying serving the Lord together. I am now a southern gospel singer\songwriter. The Lord has blessed me and I will continue on this road He has placed me on for my desire is only to serve Him. I will travel anywhere I am invited to give my testimony or to sing or both. God is wonderful and it is to His glory that I am writing this, if one soul is reached in any way then this is worth everything.
Again I cannot stress enough that this is for the glory of God that I am here and that my life is what it is today, for without Christ we are nothing, but through Him we are joint heirs with Him. He is our Deliverer, Savior, Helper, and Healer and any problem we may have is never to great for Him to help us, we just have to take it to Him and leave it at His feet and in His care. I thank God for His power is still healing, still saving and still delivering. He is good all the time. I have made my mistakes but His grace is sufficient. God loves us and if we truly repent and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we can help anyone out there, please contact us at the information provided below and we will do our best to help in any way we can. If you have questions about loved ones who may be on drugs or other addictions we will try to answer your questions, if we do not know we will do our best to find the answer for you. If you have loved ones that you need prayer for we will gladly join you in agreeing for that person for the Kingdom. Please always remember we are human and we will make mistakes but just confess to God those mistakes and get them under the blood of Jesus as soon as possible, God still loves us and He will help us in all of our situations.
GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL. I GIVE FULL PERMISSION TO ANYONE WHO CAN USE THIS TESTIMONY TO COPY IT AND GIVE IT OUT OR TO SHARE IT PUBLICALLY, BUT PLEASE GIVE ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE TO GOD. THANK-YOU. WE ARE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS.
Jerry & Shelia Holcomb
Feel free to email us at:
[email protected]
www.rainbowoftexas.org
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Amen & WOW..Rainbow Shelia...AWESOME TESTAMONY...I have been down the same path..drug and alcohol abuse..and was about 13 years old when..I started abusing myself...I have known about God all my life..but didn't walk with him a whole lot...have been clean and sober..now for about 28years... my husband started this site for all of us..and has been going strong for the Lord since..we have been open almost 2years..and your estamony will help others to see..that God truly is for us and the devil wants to kill us...I have been blessed with my third hubby since we married..he seen my ups and downs..more down than ups..so I give full Glory to God and I praise my husband for seeing me as who I am today..when I didn't really want to live..so keep ministering on here..as there are many of us that needs someone like you... gbu loretta |
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TIL "JESUS"-BECAME MY FRIEND" I WAS JUST "STUMBLING"--THROUGH THE PATHWAY OF
LIFE---NOTHING WAS GOING RIGHT---JUST WORRY AND
STRIFE---THEN I REACHED FOR "JESUS"--HE STRETCHED
OUT HIS HAND---AND NOW I AM WALKING--TOWARD
"GLORYLAND"!--------IN SIN-I WAS WALKING---SO
BLIND AND SO COLD---LIFE JUST HAD "NO MEANING"---I
JUST HAD "NO GOAL"---A "HEAD-ON COLLISION"--I HAD
WITH MY CHRIST---HE OPENED MY EYES AND HE GAVE TO
ME "LIFE"!--------HE PICKED UP THE PIECES---HE
MOLDED THE CLAY--HE MADE MY LIFE
"BEAUTIFUL"--WASHED MY SINS-ALL AWAY---I,LL LOVE
HIM--"FOREVER"--I,LL PRAISE HIS SWEET NAME---FOR
SINCE I MET "JESUS"--I,VE NOT BEEN THE
SAME!!!--------SO "LOST" WAS I---SO "DEEP IN
SIN"---I DON,T KNOW WHERE--IT ALL BEGAN---I JUST
KNOW I--WAS "NEARING THE END"---TIL "JESUS"
BECAME---"MY FRIEND"!(words alone can never
express what "JESUS" has done in my life--My
actions are different--my attitudes and thoughts
are different--for the first time in my life---I
am total and complete and truly happy! There were
several times in my life--when I came very close
to "ending it all"--could I just say to anyone who
may have those same thoughts--"Suicide" is "Not the
answer"--in fact--it,s the "cowards way out"--and
it is a "self centered and selfish thing to
do"--you not only take your own life--you destroy
all those who love you_they have to live a
lifetime of pain because "you are a coward"--in
love--let me tell you-THERE IS AN ANSWER FOR EVERY
NEED THAT YOU HAVE--HIS NAME IS "JESUS"--TRY
HIM--HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU AND
HE WILL GIVE YOU A "LIFE WORTH LIVING"! in his steps loretta |
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Hello and thank you so much for your encouragment. I am so glad that God
is using me to touch others that is what I live for only to serve Him.
If you have your testimony written up I would love to read it if you
would email it to me that would be great. thanks and GBU Shelia
Inspiration of The Heart wrote:
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>New Message on Inspiration of The Heart
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>From: Loretta1
>Message 2 in Discussion
>
> Amen & WOW..Rainbow Shelia...AWESOME TESTAMONY...I have been down the same path..drug and alcohol abuse..and was about 13 years old when..I started abusing myself...I have known about God all my life..but didn't walk with him a whole lot...have been clean and sober..now for about 28years... my husband started this site for all of us..and has been going strong for the Lord since..we have been open almost 2years..and your estamony will help others to see..that God truly is for us and the devil wants to kill us...I have been blessed with my third hubby since we married..he seen my ups and downs..more down than ups..so I give full Glory to God and I praise my husband for seeing me as who I am today..when I didn't really want to live..so keep ministering on here..as there are many of us that needs someone like you... gbu loretta
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
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Amen thank you so much. GBU Shelia
Inspiration of The Heart wrote:
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>New Message on Inspiration of The Heart
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>From: Loretta1
>Message 3 in Discussion
>
>
>TIL "JESUS"-BECAME MY FRIEND"
>
>
>
>I WAS JUST "STUMBLING"--THROUGH THE PATHWAY OF
>LIFE---NOTHING WAS GOING RIGHT---JUST WORRY AND
>STRIFE---THEN I REACHED FOR "JESUS"--HE STRETCHED
>OUT HIS HAND---AND NOW I AM WALKING--TOWARD
>"GLORYLAND"!--------IN SIN-I WAS WALKING---SO
>BLIND AND SO COLD---LIFE JUST HAD "NO MEANING"---I
>JUST HAD "NO GOAL"---A "HEAD-ON COLLISION"--I HAD
>WITH MY CHRIST---HE OPENED MY EYES AND HE GAVE TO
>ME "LIFE"!--------HE PICKED UP THE PIECES---HE
>MOLDED THE CLAY--HE MADE MY LIFE
>"BEAUTIFUL"--WASHED MY SINS-ALL AWAY---I,LL LOVE
>HIM--"FOREVER"--I,LL PRAISE HIS SWEET NAME---FOR
>SINCE I MET "JESUS"--I,VE NOT BEEN THE
>SAME!!!--------SO "LOST" WAS I---SO "DEEP IN
>SIN"---I DON,T KNOW WHERE--IT ALL BEGAN---I JUST
>KNOW I--WAS "NEARING THE END"---TIL "JESUS"
>BECAME---"MY FRIEND"!(words alone can never
>express what "JESUS" has done in my life--My
>actions are different--my attitudes and thoughts
>are different--for the first time in my life---I
>am total and complete and truly happy! There were
>several times in my life--when I came very close
>to "ending it all"--could I just say to anyone who
>may have those same thoughts--"Suicide" is "Not the
>answer"--in fact--it,s the "cowards way out"--and
>it is a "self centered and selfish thing to
>do"--you not only take your own life--you destroy
>all those who love you_they have to live a
>lifetime of pain because "you are a coward"--in
>love--let me tell you-THERE IS AN ANSWER FOR EVERY
>NEED THAT YOU HAVE--HIS NAME IS "JESUS"--TRY
>HIM--HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU AND
>HE WILL GIVE YOU A "LIFE WORTH LIVING"!
>in his steps
>loretta
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>To stop getting this e-mail, or change how often it arrives, go to your E-mail Settings.
>http://groups.msn.com/InspirationofTheHeart/_emailsettings.msnw
>
>Need help? If you've forgotten your password, please go to Passport Member Services.
>http://groups.msn.com/_passportredir.msnw?ppmprop=help
>
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>
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| | | From: ,.. | Sent: 12/25/2002 4:36 AM |
What a glorious testimony to our Lord. If He brings us to it, He will bring us through it. Thank God that fellow took the time to share Jesus with you and thank the Lord for all you have become. Thank you for shariing this.
Millie G
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