Over the past year there has been a drastic change in my life.  After finding out about my heart condition and immediately after that finding out that my daughter was pregnant it almost killed me.  I don't know when I have felt so alone.  I felt as if I had been completely abandoned, naturally the devil wanted me to feel that way.  I would say out of all of the trials I have faced that one was the hardest and the longest.  Before this happened I think back and remember the dreams I had.  I would have dreams about being in really large storms.    I know it was God preparing me.  I would think, "Lord my faith in you is so strong."   That is foolish thinking one never knows the things that are before him.  I am sorry to say that a great deal of the long trial I failed miserably. 

When I was walking the long hard road of the deep, deep valley there were times I felt like giving up and my desperation reached a point that I gave into temptation, but God be praised He came on the scene convicted me of wrong and wrong thinking and I repented and made things right with him.

      I am so thankful to now say that I can see the Light I have something to Praise God for.  He took the cloud of despair and being alone away.  I am so ashamed that I failed a great deal of the test. But, I know that God doesn't see things the way I do.  You know He allows us to be drawn away tested and tried and that makes a stronger child of God.  There is a song that says,�?He leads me aside to be tested and tried, but in the valley He restores my soul.

     Our daily Christian walk is full of trials and tests, disappointments.  We don't always pass the tests.  When we don't pass we go back and take the test over again.  I have heard it said that it's like being in school.  When you fail a grade you are left back to repeat the grade.

     I am thankful to God to say that where I did dread getting up in the morning, I now awake with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I now have three beautiful grandchildren.  I have 2 beautiful grandsons and my daughter just recently had a baby girl.   God has filled my heart with joy.  I praise Him for taking away the cloud of depression.  I of course was saved when this all happened but as the song so beautifully puts it.  "God has made this trial a blessing. O the Love He has for me."  God has a great love for His children.  You see I know that God drew me aside to test me.  He knew that I would fail portions of the trial.  He knew I would become so filled with sorrow that I would give into temptation.  But still He allowed me to go threw it.

He also knew that I would cry out to Him.  I can honestly say this and believe this is part of the reason for the testing I endured.  When someone fails in whatever point, never point an accusing finger, never sit in judgment because you never know how you would react if faced with similar circumstances.  You see God can bring the judgment back on you.

 <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

                                               God Bless You,

                                                 Candy Christmas