I have been raised in a christian home and I have always gone to church.  When i was 9, it was on my birthday and my mom had invited her friend Jan to supper.  As soon as i saw her i had a eerie feeling about her and form the start she gave me the creeps.  About a month later she moved in with us because she and her husband were geeting a divorce and she had no where else to go.  I didn't really thing about it much because my mom was always helping people.  Jusr before my 10th birthday we moved to the okanagan and Jan came with us, she and my mom told me that she wanted to start a new life away from her ex-husband.  When i started school  a couple of months later, this beinga small town and things travel i learned that my mom and jan were partner.  Before this my mom told me that she was a lesbian but i had know idea what that was and that it was wrong until people stated making fun of me nad i started to ask questions and found out what a lesbian really was, i also found out that it said in the bible that it was wrong.  I hated having my mom a lesbian, I stopped bringing friends over because i was to embarassed about my mom I hated going places with her and Jan.  I wouldalway either walk infront of my mom of behind at leastas foot so that it didn't look like i was with her.  When i was about 11 Jan stated to abuse me emotionally constently calling me stupid, useless and a lot of other very in appropriate thingswhen my mom was working or had her backed turned.  Then when i was baout 12 or 13 she started physically abusing me. 

           She would pick me up by my hair which at that point was down to my butt and would throw me against the wall but always making sure that she would never give me a bruise where my mom would notice but when i was about 15 she would only physically abuse me when my mom WAS home because at that point i was stronger than she was and she knew i couldn't defend myself with my mom there or i would get into trouble because my mom always (well almost always) took her side in things.  Then just after my 16th birthday my mom called me up ( i was spending christmas with a friend in calgary) and told me Jan had left her.  I was so happy and really didn't give it another thought until i got home and ended up having to live with friends for about a month because Jan was moving her stuff out of the house and my mom just couldn't stay in the house. 

               I recent her for not believeing me when i told her about everything that was going on when she was working or had her back turned.  But through all of this the worst thing is that i was slowly turning away from god, almost to the point of not believeing in him at all, because i figured that all this was his fault that i was going through everything, and that if he did know everything why didn't he send someone to stop it.  i am now 18 years old and i am still searching for what i had before everything and to this day still struggle with my faith. i ask for your prayers as i continue on in my journey of life and search for the Lord.