Dear fellow members,
I am known to you all as student of Christ , I would just like to share with you how the Lord has changed my life from being someone who stumbled around in the dark for a few years, I'm now 33 years old. I was saved in a tent meeting in Nova Scotia , Canada, when i was 8 yrs. old, from there my relationship just grew with God, until I was about 12 yrs old at that time my peers started to teases me and taunt me about being a christian I was used and abused in school for most of my teenage yrs. When I turned 16 my life changed for the worse, I was raped, had bad friends and did some things i dont care to mention but I never forgot about God nor did He forget aobut me. I still prayed every night and loved Him but i chose to take Him out of my heart nd put HIm on my shoulder becaues I thought being a flighty and wild teenager that I alone could do something with my life that I chose to do with it, but... as you all probably know we cant do anything with out the guidance of our Heavenly Father. I got married when I was 21 and was married for about 3 years when I realized this was not what My Father had planned for me. I thought I could change the world because I loved God. I was sacrificing my self because I totally misunderstood the meaning of "be more like Jesus", He never ever wanted me to be condemned and abused I didnt have to turn the other cheek and take being abused by my husband, but I thought with all my heart that I would be disobeying God if I divorced. But I couldnt take any more and divorced him at the age of 24. I had no children at that time although I desparately wanted one. (my husband couldn't have any) I was very depressed for alot of years say about 3 I felt so defiled from being abused by my peers during my teenage years and also being totally unexcepted by my husbands friends. As well as him being an alcoholic. I tryed to chage him. As a result I as the one hurt and angry full of resentment and pain. I stayed away from people for about 2 yrs then it happened I started to date a man younger than myself I was 27 he, 22. I felt kinda silly being older but i resisted the feeling and kept seeing him. Guess what, it fell through, are you surprised Im not, because again for the second time I went ahead without God and did my own thing. My best friend at the time and my boyfriend got together yes it hurt like crazy . But i got through it. Did I ask God for help yet, nope lol still trying to cope by my self, did 'God let this happen, no but being that HIs will for my life was over there and i was over here and being that He speaks in a still small voice how could I hear HIm even if He was talking. Now all this took place early in 1997. Then i decided I'd better ask God for some help but never really acknowledging HIm for what He all ready brought me through and selfishly I aske God to send me a man. I didnt ask for any hting specific just a MAN, wrong again lol. Was he a christian, no far from it farrr. Now again i was still in the mode of "i", can change him . But "I", couldnt. We planned for a baby soon after we met and me believing that God had sent me this wreck of a soul, I stayed abuse worse than the first and we had a child. My son was born in NOV. '98. i fell in love for the first time during my adult life with my son. Now was the time the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me something but i still didnt hear HIm not for another 15months. My sons father had serious mental disabilities and me being a compassionate person tried to help him with the love of the lord that I thought i had to give to him. But instead of being loving and understanding I became bitter and angry. Because I was scared for my sons and my safety. Finally on March the 15th 2000 I fled with my son to a shelter, where they cared for me and my son and counselled me. Now that is where the Holy Spirit really started to do a work on me. Here I was in a similar situation as the other woman there and all i could do when the children were in bed was to witness to them. i was not alone after all God was still in my heart not on my shoulder where i had thought id left HIm so long ago, so you see God never does leave us we just have to be still and listen. Another thing i just have to say God will never leave you nor forsake you even if you think He is not there He is. I am now attending BIBLE SCHOOL 1st yr completed with flying colors and He is molding me and shaping me into what i should have been so many years ago I am studying counselling minor, pastoral, ministries, and majoring in the Bible. So if you are thinking all is lost please stop go to a quiet place and listen becaue if you dont obey the first time and do what God wants He will still be with you but you wont hear HIm. jGod Bless you all and i pray that this testamony has hellped you in some way . Jesus Loves YOU ! He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is always waiting for your safe return. |
Free Forum Hosting
Recommend
First 
Recommend
Return to Member Testimony