Work Out Room The Night Before Christmas A Dieter's Style. T'was the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there While Mama in her girdle and I in my chin straps Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below When what to my wandering eyes should appear A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear On Pritikin, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox From the top of the scales to the top of the hall Now dash away pounds now dash away all Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress My clothes were all bulging from to much excess My droll little mouth and my round little belly They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly I spoke not a word but went straight to my work Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk And laying a finger beside my heartburn I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry If temptations removed I'll get thin by and by And I mumbled again as I turned for the night In the morning I'll starve...'til I take that first bite! Original Artist Unknown This webset page was created from a snag by Mumzilla-Tracie04 using one of the many auto-scripters available at Chat_Central_Gateway All rights reserved KENDOC 2005 |