While I'm waiting for Tye to tell us about our first book for the Book CLub (hint hint)
I'll start another discussion.
I guess some lessons are learned the hard way, but some come as an ah-hah! experience too. Whatever the form, some lessons change us with a jolt and we are never quite the same afterwards. Hopefully we are changed for the better. I know we can all benefit from each other's experiences because they can be shortcuts to finding our way with a brighter light.
Here's my two. When I was in deep dispair over HIM in California, a friend invited me to a Tony Robbins Seminar. At that time hw was famous and controversial for the Firewalk. For those of you youngsters, a twenty foot long path of burning coals was constructed on the ground and brave souls were taught how to walk over it without injury. The goal was to overcome fear into triumph. Lots of folks debunked as being fake but Tony was a charismatic guy and attracted boucoups of disciples to walk the walk.
It was preceded by a three hour seminar on how to get in touch with your inner resources and use them to conquer the firewalk-ie- fear in general.
It was real.We saw the crew construct the walk and saw and heard the wood reduced to coals. The temperature of the coals was like your average BBQ. I thought I was prepared but when I stood at the head of the path and looked out at the red glowing coals, I hesitated.
Was I prepared, crazy or ready to move aside for the next person.
I took a deep breath, employed the technique Tony taught and stepped out. With firm even steps I walked with confidence to the end. My soles were slightly scorched and my pant hems black from the soot but I had done something that amazed me!
What a tremendous high! I had taken control of my feelings and my life for one short walk and had emerged with a stronger sense of who I was and what I could accomplish if only I did not give in to the fears that held me back from moving ahead.
If I could walk the firewalk, I could overcome what ever else was in my way. I was in charge!
Sure,I knew these things intellectually but never FELT them to be true. That one experience has stayed with me for the last 20 years. It's helped me overcome a fear of flying,of taking responsibility for my actions, of trying something new, of committing myself to a second marriage. The memry of that walk is a touchstone for me. When I falter, it's ok, I know I can pick myself up and do what it takes to get back up.
The second is shorter. When I was going through the end with HIM, years ago, I blamed HIM for everthing. If only he loved me more, told the truth, saw my side of things etc. etc.
I went into therapy.The most valuable lesson learned was that- surprize- I was using him as a distraction from looking at me. It took me a long time to absorb the wisdom of that sentance- to take responsibility for my own responses to people and life. I'm still working on that lesson!
And you?
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