Regular Text = Talking out loud
Bold Text= Confessional(nobody else can hear them)

 

*it is 6 am and the teams are sleeping when...*

 

Zoe: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

*Two overweight men grab Zoe and drag her out of her bed. They put her in a van and speed off. The van is dark and Zoe cant see anything*

 

Zoe: Oh mah gawd! I saw a movie like this once. IM GONNA DIE!!

 

*Zoe begins to shriek evily until all of the sudden a candle lights and the remaining members of the nice team except for Stevie are all in there*

 

Zoe: What are you guys doing here? Did they kidnap you too?

 

Scarlett: No....this is for the mission

 

Zoe: Think what you want BUT OUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER!

 

Overweight Man #1: We have one stop to make then its smooth sailing

 

*The van pulls over to where Zie is chasing Stevie through a forest*

 

Zie: I'm gonna get you Stevie and I'm gonna kill you!

 

Zoe: See, SEE! It is a horror movie!

 

Scott: Oh give me a break. Thats just Zie trying to kill Stevie

 

Zoe: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

 

*The men grab Stevie as Zie catches up and begins to beat Stevie with a crowbar as one of the men hits Zie over the head with his sneaker*

 

Overweight Man #2: And stay down!

 

*They throw Stevie in the van*

 

Stevie: What the hell is going on?!

 

Overweight Man #1: Dont worry anybody we're all going to be safe

 

*Zoe is writing out her will and breathing heavily*

 

*Back at the house, Steph is sleeping when....*

 

Steph: OHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

*Two different overweight men grab Steph and drag her out of her bed and bring her into a van*

 

Steph: Oh, you want a private session with me?

 

*The men drop her*

 

Steph: WAIT, IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD!

 

*They throw her into the van*

 

Steph: Ohhh, its dark. Maybe there's some men in here

 

*Steph begins to feel around until she feels somebodys knee*

 

Steph: The harder the better!

 

*Steph begins to hump away ferociously until a candle lights and Steph realizes she is humping a very disturbed Jai*

 

Jai: ........................Please get off me

 

Steph: Sorry I thought you were a man!

 

Jason: Does anybody know what we're doing here?

 

Overweight Man #3: We're taking you to a secret location, trust me we're not in any danger

 

*You can hear the screaming of Zoe in the distance*

 

Jai: Wh-what was that?

 

Overweight Man #4: It was nothing

 

Krystal: Tell me is there going to be blood in this location?

 

Overweight Man #4: No

 

Krystal: Vampires?

 

Overweight Man #4: No

 

Krystal: Cauldrons?

 

Overweight Man #4: No

 

Krystal: Childrens fairytail books?

 

*The man blankly stares at Krystal for a good 14 1/2 minutes then turns away*

 

*Both vans arrive at a lake and then stop and let everybody out*

 

Zoe: AH, THEYRE GOING TO KILL US!!!

 

*Scarlett clubs Zoe*

 

*Stevie hands Scarlett a 20*

 

Stevie: Thank you!

 

Overweight Man #1: You'll all need to board this boat. Sail down the river. You will recieve further directions later

 

*everybody boards the boat*

 

Ryan: I wanna be captain!

 

*Ryan puts on the captains hat*

 

Dave: What if I wanted to be a captain?

 

Ryan: Sorry theres no room for captains that are english nurses!

 

*everybody waits for something to happen but it never does*

 

Dave: I guess the curse is lifted. IM AN ENGLISH NURSE!!!

 

*a lightning bolt comes out of the sky and hits dave knocking him out of the boat where Jai drags his corpse back in*

 

Jai: why? Why? WHy? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

 

Krystal: Oh give me a break!

 

*Krystal shocks Dave back to life*

 

Dave: I can breathe!

 

Krystal: Damnit, I didnt mean to give him air

 

*Kelli gets a text message*

 

Kelli: Whats with all the texts?

 

Stevie: Whats it say sweatheart?

 

Kelli: I love youuuuuu

 

*Steve and Kelli begin to passionately kiss as everybody looks sickened*

 

Mikey: I'll read it because I own at reading text messages

 

*Mikey grabs Kelli's cell as Stevie knocks Mikey out*

 

Stevie: Dont touch her! ....Whats it say baby?

 

Kelli: It says to sail until we see a rock that says "The Challenge is here"...you'll have to use your brains from that point to figure out what to do next

 

Jackie: What do you think we'll have to do once we get there?

 

Scott: Who knows?

 

Brandon: You think they could give us something we understand

 

*the team sails on peacefully not realizing they are all complete dumbasses. They get to the rock*

 

Jason: What does that rock say? Tha chalinj iz hayre?

 

Brandon: Oh give me a break dumbass it says the challenge is here

 

Stevie: But would could it mean?

 

*the team contemplates on what "The challenge is here could mean" for about 76 minutes and 21 seconds when finally a light bulb appears over Steph's head*

 

Steph: I got it! It means we should all have sex!

 

*Everybody sighs*

 

Jason: I got it! The challenge is here!

 

Ryan: What makes you say that?

 

Jason: Well its a tough situation but I can see that Michael Jordan has been here because the footprint on the dirt over there comes from a size 21 foot shoe and there's no way anyone else would have that big shoes

 

Jai: Wow, that was pretty complicated but good think we have Jason

 

*everybody claps for Jason*

 

Jason: I'M GOING TO PASS THE FIRST GRADE!!

 

*Michael Jordan storms out towards the boat*

 

Michael: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 76 MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??

 

Scarlett: Actually the script says its been 76 minutes and 21 seconds

 

*Michael coughs nervously*

 

Scarlett: I mean what script?

 

*Michael glares at Scarlett*

 

Michael: Anyways if you'll follow me your next mission is up here

 

*The team follows Michael up to a hut with torches all around*

 

Michael: Welcome to your thirteenth mission. This one is called "Sagging Man Boobs"

 

*Several of the castmembers puke*

 

Michael: In this mission you will be playing a survivor like game. You will all be trapped inside a very small uncomfortable room with each other. But its not necessarily a team mission. You want to be the last one in the room. The team that has members remaining at the end wins the mission but the one person that stays in there the longest will have immunity from the Inferno and will automatically make it to the final mission. There is a lot at stake here. You will not be able to eat or drink, or do anything unless its inside the room. When you've had enough you can just walk out. There's no digging out allowed. This mission may last several years, if you let it. But it will all be worth it if you make it to the end. Everyone in the room!

 

*Everybody enters the room*

 

Michael: Good luck

 

*Michael shuts the door*

 

Steph: I think we should call this the Orgy Spot

 

Brandon: Only you

 

*Zoe is huddled up in the corner*

 

Zoe: Big. open. spaces. Big. open. spaces.

 

Zoe: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*Zoe runs out of the room*

 

Krystal: One down, 12 to go

 

*34 hours later*

 

*Jai eats a pringle from her pocket*

 

Mikey: She's got food! I own food!

 

Ryan: You've got food too?!

 

Mikey: No, I own...

 

*everybody jumps on Mikey and Jai and begins to grab the pringle and the food that Mikey doesnt actually have*

 

*Dave grabs the pringle and eats it*

 

Krystal: Damn you!!!!!

 

*Krystal casts a spell and Ronald McDonald walks into the room*

 

Dave: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*Dave runs out of the room with Ronald McDonald in pursuit*

 

Jackie: That wasn't very nice, Krystal

 

Krystal: Do you want Gwen Stefani to break her spine?

 

Jackie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Krystal: THEN I SUGGEST YOU KEEP QUIET!!

 

 

*Michael walks into the room*

 

Michael: How are you guys doing?

 

Jackie: Krystal's cheating!

 

*everybody looks at Krystal and she is reading "101 ways to cheat"*

 

Krystal: I am not!

 

*Krystal burns the book to ashes and flashes a cheap smile*

 

Michael: No spells are allowed in this mission

 

Krystal: DRAT!!

 

Michael: Well good news. You've all reaches the first vote off in which you can vote any person in this room out of the game. You must write it down and explain why just for the fun of it

 

 

*Steph is seen nude rolling around on the ground*

 

Michael: Let the voting begin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Jasons vote looks like this: bren-dan*

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Brandons confessional shuts off*

 

 

Michael: Alright thats everybody. Here's how the votes went. Krystal, Michael Jor...what? Who wrote this?

 

*everybody looks at Krystal who is reading the book "I voted for Michael Jordan"

 

Krystal: Um...where did this come from?

 

Michael: Moving on. Next we have Steph. And then we have....well it seems every one here listed except for Scott. Guess this vote goes to waste, huh?

 

 

Michael: Okay oand we have Krystal. Then we have...somebody named bren-dan? Who is that?

 

Jason: LEAVE ME ALONE!!

 

Michael: Okay. We have Mikey. Krystal. Mikey. Krystal. and.....Tits McGee?

 

Steph: Yes?

 

Michael: ...Nevermind. And lastly we have Jai

 

Jai: You wanna mess?

 

Michael: Well it looks like Steph has 1, I have one, Tits McGee has 1, Mikey has 2, Jai has 1, bren-dan has 1, and Krystal has 4. Krystal the tribe has spoken

 

Krystal: YOU'LL BE SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Michael: You may now continue on with your lives

 

*Michael leaves*

 

Jai: I'm hungry

 

Mikey: Why dont you eat some of the pringles you have in your pants?

 

Jai: I have none

 

Mikey: You have a whole can

 

Jai: LIES!!

 

Mikey: I own you!

 

*Kelli begins to cut Mikey and Jai's hair as they both run out of the room*

 

Kelli: Just leave it to barber Kelli