Hi Mandi..yes I do have children, I have 3 boys who are now 21, 19 and 17. Thankfully I have had a supportive husband whom I married 4 yrs before we had our first son and didn't have any unusual complications surrounding the pregnancies and births.
I worked for 3 years with postnatal mums and their babies on a local psychiatric ward and worked with a few dozen mums who were experiencing varying degrees of PND.
I have more recently worked in supported accommodation for 11 years, usually teenage girls and their babies but we have had older mums live there as well. Amongst these young women there has also been a fair share of ones who have fled domestic violence be it physical or mental abuse. Any man who demands from his partner against their will be it sex, time, money, etc is not a man at all and has massive insecurity issues of their own which they unfairly pile onto their partner. As Yvette said we don't really know you that well Mandi but from what you have told us so far, the more I hear the better off I feel you are without him. My goodness how depraved is this guy if he expects sex almost as soon as a woman has given birth. I'm sure many women in here will agree that when you have just undergone something as physically traumatising as giving birth you are vowing never to allow that to happen again!
Are you 100% positive you are pregnant again?
I presume you have lost all of your friends because they understandably could not stand by and see you allow yourself to be repeatedly abused by your partner. It is a terrible thing to know it is going on and friends have probably supported you as far as they could but there comes a time when they were not prepared to be there for you if you were always making excuses and waiting for him to change whilst remaining with him.
If he had changed as you say then why not try to contact who you felt was the most supportive of those friends and see if they can help you now.
Your health visitor is also a good area of support but if she too has seen you put up with the crap your partner did to you then I can understand if she too had felt she'd helped as far as she could professionally if you weren't prepared to take on board that what was going on was unacceptable.
There will hopefully be various support services in your area Mandi no matter how remote and I feel you need to access those as quickly as possible. If you cannot find anything displayed in your local surgery ask your Health Visitor or have a look on google or similar by putting in key search words ie domestic violence, post natal depression etc.
Good luck Mandi and please keep us posted. I hope I haven't offended you by being too blunt or sharing my views but I don't think it is fair to 'pussyfoot' around when direct speaking is what is needed to discuss your problems and issues.
Apologies if I take a while to reply but I only occasionally use my laptop through out the day.
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