JACK AND JILL
(Highlighting the politically correct world that we have evolved to)

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water,

The health and safety man stepped in

And said they hadn't ough'ter

Unless they wore some climbing boots

And suitable clothes upon their back

And only half fill the bucket

And someone inspect the track

Or else a nasty accident could happen

Down the hillside face

Then he said we'll have to have

A medical team in place.

The owner of the hill was warned

Is his insurance up to date?

Cos' he could be facing compensation

And a court case on his plate.

All the information was then studied

They read all the relevant crap

Jack said to Jill, Oh sod it

We'll get the water from the tap.