I have so few pictures of
you my little one
So few because God called
you home for a reason
 
And through the thousands
of tears that I have cried
I will never understand the
reason good enough to me
 
I held you so briefly, but it
was long enough to love you
Yes my baby, I loved you even
before your moment of birth
 
I know you are God's little angel
and I look to the heavens
And though we are apart, one day
God will call me home too
 
And when he does, and we meet
we'll both shed tears of joy
Because I know that you miss me
as deeply as I miss you
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

In the parking lot we walked
groceries for thanksgiving
When a man with his gun I
saw, and we were scared
                                                                                                             
"Keys, purse, wallet give it
up, or I'll blow you away"
In that split second, we fought
as I shouted, "not today"
 
Screams echoed in my ears as
we both fell to the ground
Eyes of hate staring back into
my eyes, then a gun shot
 
The robber ran into the night
as you lifted up my head
My life was slipping away and
I had so much to tell you
 
You stroked my hair softly and
your tears fell upon me
I somehow touched your cheek
saying I love you, desperately
 
"I'm sorry darling, just look at
what I foolishly did"
And between sobs, you whispered
"Please darling, don't die"
 
"Don't die on me now, our life
together has just begun
I love you as I have never loved
another, you can't die hun"
 
As other's gathered around us
I heard a gentle voice
Above me, an angel whispered
"I know you had no choice"
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

From the moment of birth there
has been someone near
A cold, unfeeling shadow whose
face was never seen
                                                                                                                
With determination he claims
the innocent and weak
Never satisfied with the pain
suffering and tears
 
We face problems, disappointments
illnesses and wars
And for those not strong enough
the book is closed
 
Yes, death has come before me
but I'm not afraid
Please do not feel sorrow because
I know my way
 
To know you cared so much about
me reassures my heart
That I will remain close to you and
I love you while we're apart
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

                                                                                                                   

 

 

Weep not for me, but share in
my final peace in knowing
That I won't be forgotten for
I see the tears you're showing
 
I see clearly, a deep love that
comes from your heart
And sadness now felt, when you
realize we are apart
 
I know you mean well, and in
the darkest hour to you
You'll be forever be missed by
me, for I love you all too
 
Each of us begins a journey, at
birth, in joy it was begun
When we reach our final destination
the final song is sung
                                                                                                            
You'll always have memories, and
it's a time to remember one thing
That up ahead, a short distance
I can see Jesus waiting
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

When Jesus calls my name from
the book of names
I wonder if I will be awake and
if I'll hear the trumpet's sound?
 
Or if instead, I'll be one of the
lucky ones, who go to sleep?
Never to awaken until I see
the stairway to heaven?
 
I do not fear death, I never have
and death has called me twice
But I guess it wasn't my time and
I was allowed to remain
 
To full fill a purpose that hasn't been
made clear to me as I walk
I walk down the road of life curious
about every tomorrow to come
 
I cannot control or escape my destiny
so my poetry leaves my mark
If only one poem of mine reaches
inside and touches them
 
Perhaps my name, my poem becomes
a whisper on their lips
I hope they will recall something I did
or wrote that touched their heart
 
When I die, I'll take my place in the
cemetery where other vets rest
A flag draped coffin and if I'm lucky
family or friends will say good-bye
                                                                                                            
Perhaps one person will recite a poem
that reflected who I was
I wonder if I will be remembered by
those that I will leave behind?
 
If so, then I say to you, that my life
that could linger here no longer
Served a purpose and that my wish
for you is for happiness
 
Since I chose you to love, we've
walked down many paths
There were times when I walked
behind you or beside you
 
Sometimes you and I walked hand
in hand and I cherished that
However my love, this is one time
I will be walking ahead of you
 
In the beginning I felt so angry
why is it my time to die?
Why can't I just be over looked
in heaven's book of names?
 
Just a few more years I cry
I want to stay here with you
I want to make each moment count
I want to love you breathlessly
 
There are many things left unsaid
and even more things to do
So many things I hoped you and I
could do before I go
 
© 2003 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

No stranger, no friend, no poet
can know a mother's pain
Nor can they say they truly
can they say they understand
                                                                                                         
They could have suffered their
loss as a preemie or 8 years old
Yet that fleeting moment lasts
a lifetime in a mother's heart
 
Or they could have reached 16
and were reaching for dreams
After so many years together
imagine the plans they had
 
But life with all its complexities
is also filled with death
And if we are added to the book
of names, we must say good-bye
 
I have written poems before of
the loss of a child I know
But my poetry can never capture
what you have endured
 
I wish I could ease their pain and
give them some comfort
For my life has been a littered
trail of pain I must admit
 
But my pains are meager when
I think of a momma's loss
I wish for every mother healing
and know she can never forget
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

Family and friends try to help
lessen the burden and pain
But it's not easy to go on, for
things aren't the same
 
Few of us are ready for that
time another passes away
A lifetime of memories were
built around a special mate
                                                                                                          
They were so much more then
partner, we were best friends
Always there to share a smile
I didn't think it could end
 
My heart cries out, but only
I can hear my distant words
Reminding me of good times
together really does hurt
 
It hurts because I loved them
so dearly, so completely
I realize how much they meant
to me, and I feel empty
 
A time of adjustment with a
hope one day I'll understand
Why God chose you to make
the journey to the Promised Land
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

Momma, it's been a long time
since you and I have talked
To stop by and take a moment
oh, yes, I almost forgot
 
You know the roses out front
the ones so deeply red?
My how the blooms have opened
what a heavenly scent
 
I've gone through some hard times
wanting to go my own way
The road at times was rocky
and it hurt you if I strayed
                                                                                                           
A tear is running down my face
because you passed away
Too soon, yes all too soon for
today is my wedding day!
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

Just like I promised father
here I am on Father's Day
As I kneel down and place
fresh flowers on your grave
 
With brush, bucket and water
I tidy up your headstone
Tears fall on the grass again
as my feelings are shown
 
Why did you have to go away?
Why did God call you home?
You've finally found peace and
me, I still shed these tears
 
Today I shed a thousand tears
without you to hold me
Like those moments as a child
whispering, "It would be ok"
 
Yes, I was so small back then
but you'd be proud of me now
I have grown up strong, loving
and miss you so much dad!
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

As I opened the gate, I saw
you by the tall oak tree
I walked up and smiled as
I said, "Hi momma"
                                                                                                            
I know what you're thinking
that it's been too long
It seems I find every excuse
not to drop by and visit
 
Well, I am sorry, I should be
more thoughtful, I'm sorry
But hey! You have to give me
some credit, I did stop by
 
I was just sitting at home and
I got to thinking
I thought about all the sad times
you went through raising us
 
How you sacrificed everything to
give us what you felt was best
Dad was an alcoholic and I know
he let you down so many times
 
But us kids were so young, that
I only remember the good times
Oh, these flowers? They are for
you, your favorite I know!
 
I know how much you like gardenias
let me plant them right here
I also wanted to tell you something
very important before I go
 
In spite of all the sadness I have
experienced in my life
I never let my failures turn my
heart to bitterness
 
My heart is full of love, and I do
know the meaning of love
I express it in so many poems
written, and treat other's
                                                                                                           
Let me tidy up your plot momma
I know you never liked weeds
I'll come back more often, I will
as I wiped away my tears
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

You always gave to others
to show them the way
To light the path ahead to
make it a better day
 
To guide them on their journey
towards the light
To offer them the kindness I
know you felt was right
 
Because day to day struggles
weigh upon our heart
And if we feel all alone, in
time we only see dark
 
You were my best friend and
it's my highest compliment
You showed your concern for
others and how my day went
 
What you and I shared together
will remain treasured memories
I truly feel great sadness that you
passed away suddenly
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

 

 

I pulled into the drive way
walking slowly to the door
Tears rolled down my cheeks
I looked around once more
                                                                                                           
I just couldn't believe it, that
you went home to God today
As bible words were spoken
I was at a loss to say
 
To say to you then, or now
how heavy my heart aches
You were taken away from
me my friend, lover, mate
 
I look around this room and
I see a part of you
Your favorite chair, over there
our wedding photo too
 
I fall to my knees as my tears
sting my eyes as I stare
I stare at my trembling hands
for I can't hide anymore
 
Memories of you surround me
as I close our bedroom door
It is so late, and I'm so tired I
can't cry anymore
 
Yet my tears do fall upon your
pillow, I can smell you here
God, why did you take them
from me, I loved them?
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

In all my life my darling
my regrets are few
But I do have one I admit
when we're no longer two
 
The time will come one day
when I will have died
I wish it wouldn't happen
for I've seen you cry
                                                                                                          
Be it one day or 40 years
I offer you happiness
For you taught me to live
and from just one kiss
 
You shared warmth, love
whispering softly to me
That everything is possible
if two want it to be
 
When I pass away be strong
know that in my heart
I will be waiting in heaven for
you while we are apart
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

"I was just thinking about momma
she's so far away from heaven
But I can hear her crying, and I
wish I was there to tell her
 
To tell her that I miss her too
and my pooh bear most
I miss her hugs and reading
me stories at bedtime"
 
The angel picked me up and held
me close, wiping my tears
She brushed back my hair and
whispered, "I know you do"
 
I asked the angel if I could go
see momma, but she said "no"
And as I began to cry, her tears
fell upon me, as we hugged
 
She looked so sad as she rocked
me back and forth in her arms
She said I must be patient because
soon, momma would come to me
                                                                                                           
"I wish you could have seen my eyes
momma, when the angel told me that
Because they were filled with a joy
and I'll be waiting by the gate
 
© 2004 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

When it is my time to die
a time for me to rest
I don't know if I'll be awake
when the trumpet sounds
 
Or if I will be one of the lucky
few, who are asleep
But of this, one thing I do
know which is true
 
I do not fear death, nor do I
welcome the coldness
I know my days are numbered
since the time of birth
 
I cannot change my destiny
but I can make my mark
And with each poem I write
I hope an impression's made
 
That my name, my words be a
whisper on another's lips
Recalling something I wrote
said, or perhaps did
 
I'll take my place in the veteran's
cemetery as taps are played
A flag draped coffin will be my
final good-bye to my friends
 
Perhaps someone will choose one
poem from the many I wrote
To read to those who remembered
this soft spoken man

                                                                                                                                                               

And if just one poem I've written
changes someone's life
Then I truly made a difference
which is what I set out to do
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

How could I ever be prepared momma
for the day you passed away?
Everything you stood for and shared
is imbedded in me in some way
 
I have cherished the memories that have
lasted through the years
Since my earliest memories of being a
"Little one", you comforted me
 
My son misses you deeply, it's a sign
that he learned the meaning of love
Everything you and I could teach him
well, you'd be proud momma
 
I will guide him as best I can, I will also
sacrifice to see that he is happy
For I am just his momma, and I know
you did the same for me
 
How I wish you had stayed longer
for I somehow feel cheated
I guess I always believed you'd be
here to share your love
 
I know that you're looking down
at us from heaven, smiling
And I know that when we look to
heaven's stars, that we see you
 
© 2003 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

                                                                                                           
On Your Sixteenth Birthday

On your sixteenth birthday we
visited you, in tears
Because you nor we would have
believed that November day
 
Peer pressure would put you in
a car, loaded with teens
Speeding down the highway as
the radio music blared
 
We taught you well the dangers
of drinking and of drugs
It lessened our pain to know you
had done neither that night
 
But you were with the "in" crowd
anyway that night having fun
We don't know who was driving or
what your destination was
 
But the darkness and rain we are
sure played a role that night
By the time the curve in the road
was seen, it was too late
 
We could never be mad at you
Ginger, we will always love you
You were cheated out of every
success that awaited you
 
Your room is still the same, we
never threw away anything
For everything we see, reminds
us of who we loved so much!
 
© 2003 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

                                                                                                           
I Don’t Fear Death

I have never feared death
just the way I will go
For he has come to take
me, but I fought back
 
I fought and won to stay
a just little longer
I admit that at times I've
felt too tired to go on
 
But if I gave up and said
take me, I can't go on
God would shake his head
no, and I knew he was right
 
Yes you and I must go on
to our final destination
To discover what is waiting
up ahead, around the corner
 
It is our destiny to die that
day, we will have no choice
It will happen so quickly I hope
that there will be no pain
 
Until then, you, as much as me
must fight with every breath
To cheat the grim reaper of a
life with so much left to do
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

Too young to know sadness
I cried for you
But for those short moments
perhaps you knew
                                                                                             
Something was wrong, but
you couldn't speak
Instead, you smiled a little
smile, looking up at me
 
Yes, God had his reasons for
taking a little life
Even when they are so tiny
but it doesn't make it right
 
The pain in me runs deep
the heartache remains
Yet each day is a new day
but for me, the same
 
Today I buried my little boy
as my tears now flow
He was such a part of my
life, and God, I miss him so
 
© 2002 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

 

 

I was given a short time on earth
who knows how much longer?
I've traveled down the roads of
happiness, sadness and love
 
I have felt on top of the world
I have been to hell and back
I have saved lives�?where other's
were afraid they too would die
 
I have nearly died several times
but I am still here
There must be something I have
yet to do something not completed
 
I have struggled with emotional pain
and with injuries I've suffered
My eyes have seen the birth of two
children, the death of both parents
                                                                                                           
I do not fear death, and perhaps I
never will and I know why
I cannot change the date God calls
my name in the book of names
 
When it is my time, I hope though I
am sleeping so I feel no pain
If awake, I do not want to die alone
so I guess I do fear that
 
I simply try to help as many others
as I can sharing a smile each day
For I know thru the years what it is
like to feel sad and lonely
 
© 2003 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)