How do men and women's favorite sexual dreams differ?

Most women's favorite sexual dreams are of men who take their time, are experienced and highly attuned to the woman's sexual and emotional needs and most importantly, who get turned on by turning on the woman. I've never heard a man tell me his favorite sexual dream was of a woman who took her time. Instead, men tell me of women who are entirely uninhibited and ready and eager to do anything. As you can imagine, I've never heard a woman say, " wow! What a dream! I was with a man who would do anything!

What good would it do us to understand sexual dreams?

Well, at the most superficial level of simply noting the kinds of dreams we have and the differences between male and female favorite sexual dreams would improve many people's sexual experience.  Many, if not most men and women would get it through their heads that women's inhibitions drive men crazy (and some sometimes drive men away) and that men's failure to discover what women really want sexually leads huge numbers of women to avoid sex and never offer men what they really long for.

If that's the superficial level, what are the deeper levels?

Our sexual dreams like most dreams are a form of reflective thinking we do at night.  in dreams we think in metaphoric pictures and assess our day's experience by comparing it to what we have seen and learned through out our entire lifetime.  Since we are much less defensive and more synthetic in our dreams than while awake, we are more honest with ourselves and better able to give ourselves valuable feedback and insight.  So our sexual dreams if understood can:

	Give us first hand experiences and practice in sexual techniques.
	Help us work through sexual inhibitions and perversions.
	Show us our psychological blocks to a fulfilling sexual life.
	And by using sexual images as metaphors or symbols of emotional and interpersonal issues, our sexual dreams regularly open our eyes to problems in our relationships.

So not all our sexual dreams are about sex?

Right.  Very often, our most embarrassing sexual dreams like those of having sex with someone who is gay if you are straight or vice-versa are often not about some hidden sexual desire.  Usually the lover in the dream represents some part of your own personality or some goal in your life that you want to come closer to.  We all sometimes use sexual imagery in dreams to express how we feel about relationships that are non-sexual, for example, if your boss is raping you in a dream, this may simply express your sense that you are being screwed by him at work.

How can our dreams improve our sexual technique?

When for any reason someone is unwilling or unable to perform a simple sexual behavior, dreams can show the dreamer the issue from a less defensive perspective and help him or her reconsider his or her attitude .   Dreams can give the dreamer a first-hand experience of performing the behavior that would pleasure the dreamer or his or her partner.

For example, men who have resisted foreplay out of shyness or laziness have dreamt of fondling their partners and for the first time enjoyed the process of turning their partners on.  Women who have refused to give or receive oral sex have had dreams that helped them work through their conflicts and then actually experience pleasure in giving their partners that gift.

What are the most common sexual dreams?

Dreams of having sex with unexpected partners, (coworkers, old boyfriends, strangers), of being interrupted while in the act, of being on public display, and of wild  erotic magic are all common dreams.  Each dream , depending on the context, can be interpreted individually to see what is going on in your waking life ...the acts , themselves, are usually symbols of something not even relating to sex or the sexual act.

What about wet dreams? Do women have them?

We sure do. However, while men have most of their wet dreams at 18, women don't peak till the age of about  40. Wet dreams come when we are sexual frustrated in waking, but also when we are highly aroused by a new sexual relationship. Do not be shocked or embarressed by them.  They are normal and harmless.

It is important to realize that some sexual dreams are just that and have no reason behind them other that a body's way of release when hormones are raging.  Other times , they are in no way, pointing a finger that one needs to pursue the people in the dreams, in waking life...more times than not, it is dealing with parts of yourself or a situation and has nothing to do with sex.  Remember that as you learn to see a deeper meaning while interpreting your dreams.

I do hope this post has helped in answering some of your questions that tend to creep in and you feel it is not something that you can freely post .  This is not intended to start a big permission to make every erotic dreams be known , but for information only.

Blessed Be

Lady Majyk