The Art of Sensual Massage

~by Edain McCoy

Massage, the therapeutic manipulating of someone else's outer body, has never been more popular.  Overworked, underpaid, and stressed-out, more and more people are seeking massage therapies of all kinds to help them relax and feel healthier.  The art of massage can also be used to help reconnect with your romantic partner--bring you closer emotionally to each other and reignite flames of romance that may be extinguished by the pressures of daily living.

This type of caressing massage is often referred to as "sensual massage," and it can be done by any couple.  This isn't a massage for medical purposes; its sole purpse is to make you feel good about being with your lover and enjoying the intimate touching of each others bodies.  It doesn't require a college degree or special training.  It needs only your imagination, your willingness to carve out some quiet time together with your partner, and some basic guidelines and common sense.

It should go without saying that you and your partner should seek the proper atmosphere into which to share your sensual massage.  Private, quiet space where you're not likely to be distured is a must.  Unplug the phone and turn off pagers and other intrusions that aren't absolutely essential.  If possible, seek soft lighting.  Candles are a perfect antidote to the glare of workplace lighting and are inherently romantic.

Incense and relaxing music may also help set the mood.  Red or pink are the colors most often magically associated with romance, and these can help bond you as lovers.  Relaxing colors are blue and purple.  Scents associated magically with romance are rose, lemon, lotus, rosemary, and vanilla.  Scents associated with inducing relaxation include sandalwood, lavender, benzoin, gardenia, and peppermint.

Agree before you begin to keep your lines of communication open and positive.  If something hurts or feels good, or if you require more or less pressure in the area being massaged, let your partner know.  He or she should respond to your words and immediately adjust their touch accordingly.  This must be an event of mutual pleasure, not one where one person feels uneasy or uncomfortable.  This agreement will help improve your general communication skills as well.

Give at least a full fifteen minutes to each partner so that he or she can get fully relaxed.  If you want to switch on and off, remember that professional masseuses believe that anything less than seven minutes is not enough to allow the body and spirit to relax fully.  During your partner's massage time, don't complan if your hands are tired and refrain from talking about tense subjects like school, work, or bills that are past due.

Begin your sensual massage experimentation at your partner's feet.  Press your knuckles into the arch of the foot, and rub the toes between your thumb and forefinger.  Keep the pressure and movement steady.  Talk soothingly to your partner, asking for feedback.

Work your way up the back of the legs, rubbing upward--always toward the heart--with the heel of your hand.  Slowly knead tight muscles as you go, adjusting the pressure to suit your partner's taste.  Do the same with the back, arms, hands, shoulders, and head until your partner is relaxed.

This relaxed state makes an ideal time to focus on a joint magical goal.  This works best when the goal is connected with your relationship.  For example, you might agree beforehand on a mutual wish, such as strengthening your relationship, finding a new home, having children, or overcoming impotence or frigidity.  To do this, both partners should "tune in" to the rhythm of the massage and, either aloud or silently, say a simple present tense affirmation such as, "We find the perfect home for us," or "We are having a baby."

If you become too relaxed to focus on a goal, you can add a visual symbol that your subconscious minds can focus on during the sensual massage session.  To make a symbol you need only agree with your partner on the precise outcome you desire; write it out, then decide on a nonverbal symbol which represents your goal.  Don't worry that what you draw would make no sense to anyone else, as loving couples often develop; their own subtle language and personal associations.

When the symbol is created, both of you need to spend some time looking at it before you try using it in your sensual massage.  Don't stare, but keep your eyes steadily focused on your drawing while concentrating solely on your goal and how it is represented by your chosen symbol.  You may do this together or alone.  The important thing is that you let your subconscious mind know exacly what the meaning of the symbol is so that when it is used in sensual massage your subconscious can do most of the work while you concentrate on the physcial pleasure of mutual touch.

Before you begin the next massage session, make several exact copies of your drawing and hang them where they can be seen from virtually any position in the area in which you will be working with sensual massage.  As you relax, allow your eyes to gaze on the symbol you created.  This time you don't have to focus too hard.  Just connect with it and let your subconsciouis--which, in a relaxed state, is very receptive to suggestion--do most of the work for you.

Setting aside some time each week to touch each other will bring you closer emotionally and physically, allowing you each to get acquainted with each others' bodies in new ways, and helping you reconnect as a couple.  If the routine becomes boring, try new and inventive ways of stroking.  Use your tongue or your foot to caress your partner, or purchase a lotion or scented massage oil that you both like.  Try massaging each other in the shower or bathtub, or use it as a prelude to sexual foreplay.

Sensual massage is a pleasurable event for established lovers.  Just remember that it feels so good that it's virtually impossible to do it badly!  Enjoy!

~from Llewellyn's 2001 Magical Almanac, pgs. 262-265