The Crossing Ritual
I designed this celebration several years ago to meet the needs of those who have gone through the funeral process and still feel that there are issues left unfinished with a deceased loved one. The crossing ritual is usually done at least one month (or more) after the death, and can be performed in a solitary manner or with a group of friends. Many structured religions fail to acknowledge alternative religions, and therefore general funerary rights do not include any type of structure to meet the needs of those who have practiced an alternative faith. The crossing ritual can assist in filling this gap. I have conducted this rite for individuals of many different standard and alternative religions, to help the living deal with the passing of a loved one. I've written this ritual as through you were conducting the celebration for another person, but you can just as easily perform the same functions for yourself.
You can use this ritual for your Samhain celebration, or any other time throughout the year when you feel the need, either for yourself or for a friend or family member.
Tools Needed:
A room where you will not be disturbed
A blanket
Soft music
Incense
Purple candle
Salt
A large bowl of water
A clean hand towel
The deceased's favorite flowers
A box of tissues
When your friend arrives, have them sit in the middle of the floor on the blanket. Turn on the soft music. Light the incense and take it to the north, the east, the south, and the west, asking for protection and blessings. Light the purple candle and repeat the same pattern. Sprinkle salt in a circle around your friend. If you have invited other people to attend, have them stand around your friend in a circle formation. They may begin singing, chanting, or playing drums softly.
Have your friend hold their hands over the bowl of water. Begin to gently scoop the water with your hands from the bowl over your friend's hands. Say:
I am washing the grief and unhappiness away from your Spirit.
As the water cleanses your hands, it cleanses your whole being.
Your friend may start to cry at this time. That's okay. Dry their hands carefully with the towel.
Check the music. If the tape is ready to run out, switch sides. Then turn to your friend and ask if they are ready. Walk to the west quarter. Say:
Great Gubba, guardian of the Gates of Death,
I (say your name) request that you open the gates
so that only (say the deceased person's name) may
enter in to this circle so that (say your friend's name)
may commune with their loved one.
Stand sideways to allow the deceased person to pass by you. You might feel a movement of air, smell a sweet odor, or hear footsteps.
Guests should turn their backs to the center of the circle to allow your friend privacy. You can say "All will turn," to give them their cue. Then say:
(Friend's name), let me know when you are finished by saying "I am ready."
Turn your back as well. You must all wait patiently until your friend has finished. Again, rather than having taped music, you may all chant very quietly, sing, or drum.
Turn to the west quarter, and say:
Great Gubba, it is time for the loved one to depart.
Step aside and allow the deceased to leave the circle. Take the incense around again, this time beginning at the west, then to the south, then the east, and finally, to the north. Say, "The rite has concluded," and put out the candle.
Give the candle and the flowers to your friend. Tell them they can light the candle any time they wish to talk to their deceased loved one. They may take the flowers to the gravesite, or them may keep them in their home. If you have had guests, this ritual usually finishes with feasting that includes hot as well as cold foods.
~from "Halloween: Customs, Recipes & Spells, ~
by Silver RavenWolf, pgs. 187-188
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