Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put, garage is all yours, wedding plans are taken care by others,  and chocolate is just another snack. You can be President, can never be pregnant, can wear a white T-shirt or no shirt to water, car mechanics tell you the truth, the world is your urinal, never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one too icky,  don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt, same work, more pay, and wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, tux rental-$100 . People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional belch is expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet, one mood all the time, phone conversations are over in 30 seconds, know all about tanks, five-day vacation, requires one suitcase, can open all own jars, and get extra credit for any thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, they are still your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack, three pairs of shoes are more than enough, almost never have strap problems in public, are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes, everything on your face stays original color, have same hairstyle for years, decades and only shave face and neck. 

  You can play with toys all your life, your belly usually hides your big hips, one wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons, can wear shorts no matter how your legs look, can "do" your nails with a pocket knife and have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.  No wonder men are happier.