My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat."
"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it will
avoid you."
"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere."
"It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything."
"Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover."
"Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition."
"At my age, flowers scare me."
"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die
past that age."
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
"Age is not an interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to
do is live long enough."
"Aging is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't
matter."
"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."
"That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved."
"Old age is no place for sissies."
"Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese."
"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only
sooner."
"When putting it into memory, remember where you put it."
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."
"Inside every older lady is a younger lady - wondering what the hell
happened."
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
"Age: That which makes wine worth more and women less."
Betcha can't read fast enough for this Harvard test!
"Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly"
Age is nothing at all�?unless you are a cheese.
I wear glasses, so I can look for things I keep losing.
I'm at the age where my back goes out more than I do.
My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get.
Unless you're a banana."
One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since
you've become harmless.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to
the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as
possible.
"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."
What's a computer sign of old age?
Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill.
Vacation: When older people find out they are not as young as they feel.