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From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/10/2005 8:21 AM

.....Hellloooooo.... Mildred is that you?.... Yes.... It's me Grace.... No hun, you didn't call the wrong number.... I called you. You were??... how about that. Yes, I know.... sometimes that happens... two calls go through almost the exact same time and the wires get crossed..... You need to talk to Gertrude and get a hair appointment.... oh, all right... I won't keep you. I just wanted to tell you I won't be able to come over and play Bunco next week. Well.... I'm going to be playing Bingo again! Well yes... I know I used to spend all my time down at the Bingo Hall and you was so glad I quit playing and joined your Bunco games..... well, thank you hun, I do appreciate that.

Now Mildred... that just ain't so.... there is no such thing as a cult down at the Bingo Hall getting all us ol' ladies drunk and brainwashed. I keep tellin' ya if you'd just come try it you'd really like it. Now dearie... no we ain't all sinners doomed for gambling. There's no gambling whatsoever at the Bingo Hall.... I know Gran would never allow such things to go on over there.... you must have heard wrong. The worst thing we do over there is eat from morning, noon, to night.... which means I'll be puttin' the pounds back on that I lost while I was away from there.... especially with all the good things my sister brings for us to eat! Gosh I've missed her cooking.

Ok dear.... I'll let you get to callin' Gertrude to make your hair appointment.... yes... I understand you are a bit tiffed.... Shelly once said she'd like to play Bunco... why don't you give her a call and ask her to take my place. All right... bye bye..... well thank you... prayers are always welcome. Bye....

goodness gracious that woman can go on and on..... now then... I need to get this house cleaned up... and go shopping for a new outfit to wear to the Bingo Hall. Oh I can't wait to start playing again..... that Mildred... she'll have who knows what spread all over town about me before sun down. That's all right.... no one pays no mind to her anyways.... poor Gertrude will be mad at me for sure... Mildred will not shut off her mouth the whole time she's at the shop.....hehehehehe...

wooohoooo

I'm going to play Bingooooo.

I'm going to play Bingooooo..

From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/11/2005 9:35 AM

OH my word...what a horrible night!

Spent all afternoon going through my closet trying to decide what to

wear to my first Bingo game.... couldn't find a thing.... so I headed

to the mall and walked my poor feet off....got home with an empty

bank account, sore feet, and aching back. Thought a hot toddy and

a warm bubble bath would help me sleep like a baby....

And I did...until RUPERT showed up in my dreams!!...

I woke up screaming and all broke out in a sweat. I so forgot all

about that simpleton.... I haven't had to deal with him all this time....

I was so glad to find out he didn't know Mildred and her crowd and

that he didn't play Bunco. Talk about a peace of heaven on earth

not being pestered by that goofus all these months....

Then I tossed and turned all night... couldn't get that ogers face out

of my sleep. Memories, flashbacks... downright nightmares

of all his past shenanigans!!

Oh my head is swimming this morning..... now I remember why

we all used to flavor our hot chocolate at the Bingo Hall...

how else can a woman deal with the likes of such a pest.

I need a drink... and this coffee ain't cutting it!!! I know someone's

gonna win that game soon so I can get over there for

the next one. I may have to stop by Gran's office before then....

and borrow a pot of her recipe. That should help me sleep for

sure and get me rested before I start playing...and give me the

strength I need to deal with that man again.... oh my aching head...

I'm going back to bed..... and pray I don't have any more dreams.

From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/12/2005 10:48 AM

... Practice, Practice, Practice.... oh my, it's been so long since I've done this!... my poor arm is all weak.

I'm going to have to lift some weights, take extra vitamins or something to keep up! Cause I know for sure Gran is going to be so tickled to have me at her Bingo Hall again that she is for sure going to call lots and lots of my numbers... and I've got to get my stamping arm all warmed up and ready...

One, two, three....

Grace Bingo's, two, three;

One, two, three;

Grace wins, two, three....

pant, two, three;

I'm tired already, two three...

Slap Rupert, two, three,

Eat lemon pie, two three....

Grace Bingo's two, three;

Bingo, Bingo, Bingo;

Bingo!!, Bingo!! Bingo!!.....

Say it like you mean it, two, three.....

Cough, cough, pant... oh my... that's all I can practice for now....

Don't want to make myself sick before I even get to play! I still need to get my graph charts out and start working on the bestest line up of numbers for my cards.... hmmmmm..... what numbers will guarantee I win...???....

Boy this playing bingo is hard work!.. and I haven't even started a game yet.

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Message 65 of 79 in Discussion

From:

Gran

Sent: 9/12/2005 12:08 PM

Grace

Exercising is Hard work and with a stamper weight yet!! We must be getting close I figure.. have ytyou walked around to check on the cards playing yet??
Well I can't believe you didn't ..What ???!!! Rupert is hanging on you! Well as you know he does that with all new girls and hey he sure missed you!

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Message 66 of 79 in Discussion

From:

PattycakePlaying

Sent: 9/14/2005 3:30 PM

.....Keep on pulling and you won't have none left.........I ain't even close. Think Gran lost some of her balls. LOL

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/14/2005 5:51 PM

Oh nooooo .... if you ain't close then I'll be waiting a long long time...

Somebody pass the hot chocolate.... and make it a double!!

I gave her a whole nuther tumbler full of numbers... surely someone can go sneak to her table and slip her a winning one.... Get Rupert to smooch on her and distract her... she won't be suspicious at all....

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Message 68 of 79 in Discussion

From:

Granˆ

Sent: 9/15/2005 11:03 AM

Heheheee! "I have lost some of my balls?" Nope don't think so..

Hey Rupert move over.. over to Patty.. she has been saying some really pretty things about you.. I do believe she has a crush on you dearie!

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/15/2005 3:35 PM

Boy howdy.

.. never saw Rupert move so fast....he must like my sister!

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Message 70 of 79 in Discussion

From:

PattycakePlaying

Sent: 9/16/2005 11:04 AM

Rupert, Now you get away........These are for Gran..........Look what you done did.You cut a piece of cake and all the ooyie, gooyie chocolate fudge is running all over the plate..........Gran you better hurry and unlock this door or Rupert will eat all this up...........Do I need a Number? Why now that you mention it, I need 36 and 18. Remember, Grace is itching to get started.

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 9/18/2005 2:04 PM

... get outta my way old man ..... these are MINE.... If I can't play Bingo... I'm at least gonna enjoy drowning my sorrows in brownies !!!!!!!!

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Message 73 of 79 in Discussion

From:

PattycakePlaying

Sent: 9/26/2005 5:50 PM

Just want to warn everyone..Grace is on the road and boy is she ready to play BINGO.....She ain't stopping for NOTHING and NO ONE.......She's got her cards and markers and goodies to bribe Gran with.................Oh my goodness, here she comes and ....................Opps! CRASH! BANG! She ran into someones car.......Grace are you alright? Must be..she ran right by me into the BINGO HALL, yelling "Gran, WAIT FOR ME!

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Message 74 of 79 in Discussion

From:

Gran

Sent: 9/26/2005 10:04 PM

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Message 75 of 79 in Discussion

From:

PattycakePlaying

Sent: 10/2/2005 11:52 AM

Oh what fun you children will have at the BINGO HALL...........What is that Grandma? Well Buck, it's a place where a bunch of old people sit around listening to numbers being called...............

What for Grandma?...................Let's see if I have this right, Sissy. You have this marker and sheets of paper with all these numbers on them, then if you hear your number called, you stamp it...................How boring that sounds Grandma........

LOL... Now Willie, just you wait............Those silly old members go around checking to see who is close and they bake all kinds of goodies for the BINGO CALLER to call their numbers. They fuss and argue over who's going to win and ...

Grandma, how Do you win?..... Why, the first one to get 5 numbers in as row shouts "BINGO" and then everyone else starts to groan and moan and boos the caller.................Are they GHOST Grandma?........ No silly they is just weird humans who have nothing better to do..........Well I'm bored here, when do we leave? Patch, I think I hear Pattycake now.......She's a comin to take us and decorate her bingo table. You will see a lot more of your kinfolks there most likely.....................Be careful there Pattycake..............Don't drops us.........

Look Grandma! There's Uncle and Auntie.....................

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 10/7/2005 3:09 PM

wooohoooo.... a family gatherin'. Come on little Gracie... lets ditch this scarecrow and head on over yonder to where the kinfolks is at. I bet we get to set at thu hed table fer sure..... I know Cousin Wilber once said we's not the kine uf kin he wants to sociate with... but I'm sure he wassa jus joshin' me. Wonder if he'll even be thar.... it may be too fancy a place fer 'im. He tries to put on airs an such... but he don't really know how to if ya ask me. But that doan bother me nun.... I can have a root tootin' good time with any of my kin.... well, except that there Hilda.... she's so big and plump she kinda tends to think big of herself... hehehe... get it Gracie?.. plump.. big.... Oh well.... you's is kind of young yet to catch my jokes. All right.. .let's go.... here comes the wagon loadin' everbody on it for the party.... watch out now... don't get stepped on..... wonder what a Bingo Hall is.... never herd of sech a thing....

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 10/10/2005 12:12 AM

....hehehe... Now that I'm calling the numbers I finally get to stand at the Bingo calling podium and see what Gran keeps hid under there. Need to get there before she cleans it out.... wonder what kind of goodies I'll find... I'm getting thirsty just thinking about it!......

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From:

Grace·

Sent: 10/12/2005 9:34 AM

..... Hellooooo.... Bessie Mae.... this is your mama! Guess what dear.... I have me a new job! Too old to work??.... why that ain't attal true... and besides, it ain't really work. I'm the new hostess down at the Bingo Hall... I call the numbers for the games now. .... Well, that's true, I do kind of get cross-eyed at times... but Gran has a real nice big magnifiying glass attached to the top of the caller's desk and I can see them numbers very clearly.

Sometimes I drop them ol' little round balls though... you know how stiff my fingers are on some days. Why the other day I called one and right before I was set to put it in the little spot it belonged on it slipped right out of my fingers... bounced on the desk.... fell on my foot, rolled off...bounced off the edge of the podium stage and started a rollin' down the floor like the thing thought it needed to escape out of there! You should've seen the ruckus. Pattycake was sure that was her winning number and jumped out of her chair to make sure it didn't get away and spilled her coffee on the table.... it drooled down onto Toosh's lap and she jumped up.... said a couple of words I'd rather not repeat..... people hollerin' "stop it!"...

In the meantime Gran come out of her office wondering what all the ruckus was about... and at just that moment the number ball had rolled right under her foot.... Yep...you're right... down she went! I was just glad Proudnana wasn't playing this game...she'd have been all over me if it'd been her getting hurt again. roflol... you should have seen ol' man Rupert jump at the chance to get his arms around Gran by zipping out of his chair to catch her before she fell. The two of them ended up on the floor.... won't describe who was in who's lap... but it sure was a hoot to see Gran moving faster than I'd ever seen her before to get back up!

.... The number ball??... oh yeah....let's see... uhhh.... oh now I remember. Kes was at the next table right there and saw the ball go by and bent over in his chair to pick it up... but right at that time Chattycatty was coming out of the kitchen with a piece of lemon meringue pie I had asked her to bring me... and when Kes sat back up his head hit her arm and the pie flew across his table and landed on LadyGrace's head!!.... ... ...Was she angry?... no... I don't think so... I don't really remember. It was so loud at the time...Pattycake was hollering... "Get my number! Don't lose that number! I bet it's the one I need to win!!"... and trying to make her way down her aisle to help get it. Kes and Chattycatty were making a ruckos on their end... Gran was hittin' Rupert over the head with something... it's a blurr in my memory as to what she was using. Toosh was hollering for paper towels to wipe up Pattycakes' coffee....

What was I doin' during all this...? Why... standing my post at the callin' desk of course!! I've got a job to do and I can't let no shenanigans out on the floor distract me! But to tell the truth I sure was hungry for that lemon pie... it sure looked good dripping down of LadyGrace's head.

The number ball..??? It had dropped out of Kes's hand when he hit Chattycatty's arm while sitting back up... and it bounced twice... and took off down the aisle back towards me at the table. Maybe that's why Gran ain't ever had the building leveled... keeps the balls rollin' back to the front if they get bounced around.

Did I ever get it back? Why sure.... it was a rollin' down the aisle towards me but people were getting up out of their chairs to try to get it... so it'd bounce off one chair leg or another... Pattycake still hollerin.. "get my ball... don't let it get lost!"..... and finally it rolled out of the tables and BusyBee come out of the Ladies Room and saw it, bent down and picked it up... and walked over to me calm as a white cloud floating across a blue summer sky and said... "Here Gran, did you drop this?"..... and then went and sat back at her place.

Everyone just kind of stopped in mid-air at how easy she did that .... and it was over. BusyBee had no idea whatsoever of the ruckos that had a been goin' on while she was cleaning her dentures and adjusting her hearing aid. Pattycake hollered... "no big deal Grace... it wasn't my winning number anyway... Call another one! And don't drop it!" Toosh got Pattycake another cup of coffee and told her.. "And don't spill it!". Kes got Chattycatty another piece of pie to bring to me and told her.. "And don't bop me on the head this time"... and LadyGrace told her... "Next time, if it's chocolate, just hand it to me please, and I'll eat it." Rupert made sure Gran was all right from the fall, and Gran told Rupert... "don't catch me next time." And during the whole thing Granny, Scarlett and Tilly... just sat at their table there up front close by me and got their crocheting and knitting out... and went to work, waiting for the next number to be called. Didn't pay no mind to nobody attal.... I think I saw Tilly take out her hearing aide at one point. Guess she didn't like the hollering.

What's that Bessie Mae? How much does Gran pay me? Oh I don't get paid. What do you mean it's not a job if I don't get paid? Why sure it is. I just meant I don't get paid in cash is all. I get paid in something better... free food out of the kitchen! Yes.. you're right... not much to eat if it lands on peoples heads...lol. Oh my... we do have a time down there. I gotta get off here now and go finish my housework and get ready to call more numbers. I'm also trying to clean out stuff from under that podium desk and table. You would not believe what all Gran had stashed under there..... Ok... Bye dear... talk to you soon

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