Hi Elizabeth, Dianaro, Hawkeye, and Florence!  So enjoyed each post.  Thanks for taking time to stop by!

We've had rain  here Elizabeth, and will have more rain the rest of this week. 

Last night I declared my 'vacation' of the last 4 months officially over!.. and since it's raining, thought it would be a good time to get to moving boxes and organizing and unpacking!  I'll be starting a new "progress" thread to keep me on my toes!...lol. 

I'm going to pretend we just now moved here and not count the last 4  months.  It's easy to do since in the bedrooms it looks like we just moved here..lol.  New beginnings are so refreshing.

Hi Dianaro... oh my, a stapler was my first "tool" ever!  I stapled wrapping paper to a wall to use as wall paper many many years ago..lol.  And of course fabric to the walls.  I so love the new cordless electric screwdrives they have now...on my second one.  Totally wore out the first one!  I told hubby we'll probably have to buy double of everything as far as hand tools are concerned... his and hers!  I'll paint mine pink...lol.  God bless the inventor of the stapler.  What magic we can work with that tool...even hemming curtains and skirts when needed.

As for the jigsaw puzzle idea... all my ideas are serious..lol.  Sadly.. the "follow through" on my part needs some improvement.  I'm working on that with help from all of you on here.  As I was finishing one yesterday, another component I thought of was to make the pieces thicker... and easier for arthritic hands to pick up.  I appreciate the encouragement about it.  I have no idea how to go about starting such and endeavor.  And in the end...I may not actually do it.  Maybe someone else will.  Time will tell.  It would be fun to have special puzzles made.. with pictures I take with my own camera.  All kinds of ideas pop into my head.  I have on my list to get information from makers of them.  Jigsaw Puzzles will definitely be a major part of my future 2nd hand store.  I am just rolling with ideas for them.  I'll let ya'll know what develops.

Hi Hawkeye... Congratulations on your first grandchild!!  It's such an exciting time of life!!  Our grandson will be 5 in November.  I love that boy in a way I've never loved anything or anyone in my whole life.  It's so totally different and amazing.  Keep us posted on the mother is doing.. and be sure and let us know if prayers are ever needed.  Do hope all goes well, and easily for her.  Is the mother your daughter, or dil..?  Oh what fun you will have buying baby things.  I'm smiling ear to ear just imagining it, and remembering. 

I'm 54, been married 30 years, we have a 33 year old son, and our daughter will be 28 in October. She is the mother of our grandson.  Son hasn't gotten married yet, if ever.  Thankfully daughter's new boyfriend has 3 lovely children, so if they get married I'll have 3 more grandchildren!  May not get any any other way if my kids have any say about it..lol.

When I get my craft stuff set up and start creating something I hope to join ya'll over on that thread!  I belong to a craft msn group board, but have not posted there much because I have not done any sewing or crocheting or anything in ages.  I want to.  Soon!

Please feel free to diagnose me and give me any advice you feel I need..lol.  I need all the help out there available.  My husband's a policeman.  Do you have any connections to police work through your degree?

Hello Florence.... I so enjoyed your reply.  I never understood the term "misery loves company" before.  But somehow, being able to relate with someone else in the same situation does feel comforting.  I'm sure glad you shared your story. We have often considered getting some land and putting a mobile home on it!...will definitely make note of your experiences if we ever do. 

Congratulations on getting your new home started!!  After such a long wait I do hope it can be built quickly for you.  How much has been done so far?  

Where in Texas do you live... if you don't mind saying on here?  I live close to the coast, south of Houston.. outside of Angleton.  If the news ever mentions Surfside Beach during the hurricane season... that's my general area.  I sure hope we don't get on this year.  I am not in any mood to have to evacuate.  I haven't ever unpacked pictures etc from the last hurricane scare we had.  I feel better with this house being almost 5 feet off the ground at least.

You're right about the mindset of knowing a home is not "the" one that will be permanent.  Knowing we may sell it and move in just a few short years or even less if something good comes along, makes me very hesitant to do anything to it right now...the more holes I put in the walls, the more work I will be creating to make it "sell ready". 

We have the title to it.. it's ours...(even though we'll be paying for it for 15 years, unless we sell it)... but, I just don't have a "good" feeling about the situation for some reason... and so I guess that keeps me from relaxing and taking firm 'mental' ownership of it.  I think I still feel like we live in 'her' house..??   Not sure.  Something is missing though. 

I was thinking about it last night... and came up with the theory that we moved here
'physically'.. but I have not yet moved here mentally and emotionally.  That "all" of me is not here yet.  Does that makes sense to anyone?  Is that a probaey analysis? 

I've been much happier the last week or two.. and so I'm hoping I can now move forward and let my soul also be happy here.  It's time.  And I'm ready for that to take place, starting today.

I'll be starting a new "progress" thread to have a place to record my steps of unpacking, sorting, and organizing.  I also want to have a way to make myself accountable for getting the work done.  My thought is that being able to say "I did it!" as often as possible will provide and help keep me filled with positive thoughts and energy. 

Working the several jigsaw puzzles really helped me to see things in a new light.  As I finished the last one last night I kept comparing the process to what we go through when we work on our homes or our lives.  It's all done one piece at a time.

This last puzzle was a bit more difficult...and I found I had to use my brain in different ways to finish the puzzle.  Sometimes I could go by color. Other times I had to go only by the shape of a piece.  And sometimes I had to look at the detail of the piece...for minute shading clues etc to show me where it belonged.

I've been saying I did not 'fit' in this house...because the pieces I feel I just 'had' to have weren't here.  We can't always have our own way can we.  And I might just have to look at the pieces I do have to work with in this house in a different way... kind of like the puzzle pieces. 

If looking at one characteristic of a room isn't telling me where to put something.. then maybe I need to look at the things I want to put in it in a different way.  Shape instead of color...or texture instead of shape.  The pieces of our things WILL go together in this house to form a complete picture.  I may just have to let go of trying to use the old technique for fitting them that I've used in the past.  And look at things in a different way...like with the jigsaw puzzle.

And the final and greatest lesson learned... the more effort you put into finishing the project...the easier and faster the work will go because there will be fewer and fewer pieces to do...and towards the end it will get easier to 'see' where they go.  So today.. the effort has begun!!  And I've already emptied 2 small storage bins...and will be at it all day.

Hugs to all, Grace 

 

 

 

 

http://heelspurs.com/aaa.cgi?w=ste

 wish I knew how to add all of those fancy pictures to this email, but I don't. Guess I ain't smart enough for that....lol

 

From: Grace*

Sent: 9/27/2007 10:38 PM

Wow... I got such a nice surprise when I just went and checked the Narcissist Support Recovery group I'm in..... the following message was waiting for me...   I just want to thank you for your insightful posts on this board! You are so new here and yet have shared so much knowledge and such a positive outlook. I am having a very difficult time these days and haven't posted much, but I've been glued to this board every day! I love to read your posts and wish you peace, love and contentment in your new journey in life. You seem to have already found it!   God always knows how and when to bless us in the way we most need it.  I was so down about my finances... and to find this tonight was such an encouragement to me to keep standing in the faith that has carried me this far.   Sylvia... the group is about healing from the damage and wounds inflicted on us by narcissists... who lie to us in horrible ways, use us in cruel ways, and deeply damage our sense of self esteem and worth..and more.   So many people out there are being abused by these kind of damaged humans... it's really quite sad. ..and kind of scary too, to realise that.     My abuse was mild compared to what some have suffered...and as damaged as I became from being married to  one, imagine the worse damage others are having to cope with and heal from.  Hearing each others stories and experiences... helps clear up the fog in our brain.. and gets our upside down thinking turned right side up.     Light bulbs of understanding go off as we see... "ohhhh... me too!.. so that's why...."  And each time one does, more weight of guilt or self-blame is lifted off our shoulders and out of our minds and we get to feeling a little bit lighter, and a little more 'ok' with ourselves.      And... just like with divorce.. there is anger to also contend with. So it's good to have someplace to talk over everything about it.. with people who are also suffering the concequences of that kind of relationship.. and completely know and understand what you are feeling and going through.   And sharing our progess... brings surprising gifts like the post above.  I am so amazed at  how God reaches down and always knows when, where, and how to do exactly the thing for us we most need done... to keep us safe and on the path of faith and hope.    A narcissist sucks  you empty and dry of  your self worth.    So to be "thanked" for being me.. instead of rejected for it...  is  such a soothing balm to my soul.   I have gotten so much of that same balm from you all here.... I would not be who I am now.. if not for you all carrying me through the darkest of the times.   You gave to me... and I in turn have now been able to give to others.... we form a circle of giving... all blessed and healed.. by love.   Thank  you...   Grace

  ...... Hello.....  got  my extra strong eyeglasses on.   I'm  going on a hunt to find Spring.   The Great Spring Search is on ...

 

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