hello, sorry it's taken me so long to get back with you. You keep saying you sense a change in my voice, I don't hold you as tight. That goes for you too. You didn't seem happy to see me, you didn't want to hold me. I have made alot of mistakes, mistakes that I don't think you will be able to forget or forgive, which I totally understand. I messed up, and I am sorry. I release you from me, so you can get on with your life. I want the best for you, for you to be happy and successful, in what you want to do with your life. Please forgive me, and try not to hate me.
Thank you for replying, although, you avoided specifically answering my question.
In all that you wrote, you could not come out and say exactly what YOU want or don't want. You could not be honest about what you do or do not feel...for or about me or us, and that makes me sad for you Robin.
And I explained in the last letter that I have been hurting about Marcy... afraid. I was distant so as not to mislead you that we would be 'together' in that way.. is all. The responsibility to make me feel reassured and safe with you.. was yours, not mine.
I only know of 1 mistake you made in January... so I have to wonder what "alot" refers to, but no need for any info on them.
I've recently begun to learn that a lot of what I went through in the last year, was sadly... menapause problems. And maybe things could have been different if I had realised it sooner . I don't know.
I don't hate you. I wasn't lying when I said I love you. I did for 30 years, and I still do.
I'm apparently just not what you really need or want right now and you have moved on.
It never had to come to this... just a little bit of fight from you to keep us, back in September would have been enough. But you never did or said anything until February. And, since I was basically the injured one after what you did, .. it was your job to convince me every time we were together that you had fully chosen me. You didn't do that... so I began to suspect that things had changed for you.
I release you from me... ?
Thanks.. but I did not ask you to do that. I wanted to work things out.
I only asked you to say what you wanted, to be honest and admit wether you do or do not want me anymore. Why it's so difficult for you to do that, I have no idea.
"I've changed my mind Laurie and I don't want you and I don't want to stay married to you."
... see,... easy, plain and simple. That's all you had to say.
So... since I've been let go of by you... I can now refocus my thoughts and plans, and stop thinking about moving back down there, and get on with my life up here. So, thank you for that. And you can freely now go back to Marcy I guess. Or whoever...
Go ahead and get the divorce drawn up... with the $300 a month for 18 months, and the $20,000 you offered from your retirement. I accept those terms. Nothing else to do now. It's fully and totally over. It's done. No more chances.
I'll tell the kids.
Good Bye,
Laurie
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hello again;
the decision had nothing to do with me wanting to be with anyone else. It had to do with what I think you want and need, freedom. Freedom to be you, freedom to do what you want, freedom from me. I want only the best for you, and pray to God you get it. I mean this with all my heart, I want you to be happy. Keep in touch with me, and when I send you an email or call, I hope you won't ignore me. Take care.
Robin
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It's totally over this time Robin.
Except for dealing with financial issues, taxes, bills etc, or issues of getting the divorce settled... or a major emergency with the kids or Ethan, or your mother... I don't want any other kind of contact with you.
I'm not your enemy,... I'm not angry,... I just need this to be a clean and complete break.
And thanks, but, it wasn't your job to decide for me what I need or dont' need. That's my responsibility and choice to make for myself.
Again... good bye.
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