as i read i started to cry, his list and your answer, funny they can tell you they are sorry you are feeling bad, but later they can remember only you did not do a damn thing, i feel with nate sometimes he says praise or sorry, its not really there, its words so later he will only remember i was not there for him. that would be the kind of list i would get from nate. from my ex. oh boy you would go in shock at what he would write. and nate is not a fighter, he says he is too old and tired, but nate would write me off too, i have always had that feeling, i am not worth the extra effort to make a couple, he wants the perfect lady,to meet his wants and i would be his little,yes darling robot doll, he is such a nice tender loving gentleman, how can they both be one man.
you survived many years of this, mosty young years, it fianlly got you. i am not surprised you had your problems over the years, i have had a part of 1 year and i am struggling with it already,cause i am older not a worshiping teen ager i see down the road, but he has so much i need so maybe i can make it for what time i have left, i don't know. but i see his dissatifaction in me already, he punishes me he thinks, if he does not like something i wrote, he will not answer that e-mail he will send me a forward, lol.if i ask a question he does not want to answer, he won't ans. the e-mail, he sends a forward. i have gotten used to it, lol, when i don't get a letter, i say oh shit, he's pissed off again.
you are facing a new life now, strange road, you never been on,called freedom you have not had that road since a child,you will feel lonelyness, strangness,making decisions alone on which road to take, afraid sometimes cause you do not recondnize the the scenery, but as you drive down that road, you will see new beauty, new sights, new people,become more confondent, in your driving abilities, and sing whoopee i don't wanta go back on that old road again, i can be me, thank god
gotta go, take care, enjoy, no more crying
decorate to your hearts content,woman you are free!
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