toosh, have patience with jodee,i had those damn attacks from about 1971 thru,sometime around 1987-88 when deb was born at the end of 70, i had to go back for dnc,a couple months later, then these attacks started, and they did not stop til thru menapause, i figured it had to do with hormones,
toosh, i did not know where they came from, they are scary as hell, and you have no control, and the worst, i did not have a soul, to help me with them,a husband that did not give a damn, and a mom, that just did not believe the mine goes awhack and you don't have any control over it at all, i was alone in these attack, just knowing i was going to die, and leave my children alone. toosh when this happens to joddie, if she calls you talk her thru it,then go on as normal.
cindy has gone through sort of early menapause
and i think she has both things working against her, this mold thing has tested positive,and her gene has tested out she can not kick it out of her system.
so all i can do is pray and be here for her,cause i do understand what she is going through. but i am scared, all the drugs they are trying on her, some sets of these attacks, a couple i noticed did make her sucidal and i made her stop them. i listened to her, and i would notice the change in her conversation, talking about death, and how she wanted to get away from it all, then i would get her to come off it, and they would try another, you know this is playing hell with her body.somedays she will not get out of the bed, says she is so tired, sleepless nights. now the fear not wanting to go out side,somedays she can not force herself to go out, and the bad thing, i am 70 miles away.i try to talk to her everyday, she does not ck, her e-mail for days, so thats out.she has lost interest in things, she could be a good artist also, she has done one painting, and it was great, she can crochet, her embroidery is beautiful.quilts with the tiny neat stitches,took cake decorating, and used to sell her cakes,she has so much talent, and damn she has no care about any of it. lost all interest, like she is empty.my poor darling. how can this happen to people. nate says he feels sorry for what women goes through.i want to thank god for him right now, cause he feels the hurt,and he loves her, and he will take me to her any time i need to go. nate a strange man, feels so much, yet so tackless,lol, he was talking to his niece,and said all my family is dead now, she said what about me,am i not family,lol, the man spoke before he got his words right,i knew what he meant,i also knew what she was going to say just as soon as it was out of his mouth. bless his heart, his mouth gets him in trouble,lol.
thanks for letting me ramble on this morning,i feel like i am sitting under our tree talking to you, thats how close i have come to all of you, just come in here and pour it out, i will get off and read more
and start a thread, the kitchen gave me an idea
hugs and all my love
jeni
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