No Gran.. sorry to say.. it wasn't a game.   I know the kind of thing you are talking about..   but it wasn't like that.   I was looking right at them when they were walking away and when she made her little comment... and I saw the look on her face...  it was just like the sad face of a disappointed 5 year old who was just told she couldn't have the thing she wanted.   She just may indeed need to grow up, and find her own voice.. and hopefully he will be willing to let her express it. 

 

Some men are capable of adjusting to those kind of changes...  if they love each other enough to work through things like that.   I'm going to stand in faith that they do.  

 

All new marriages take adjusting over the first few years as new situations come up to deal with and make decisions about.   I'm sure she'll mention the bread scene to one of her friends or family members ... and hopefully someone she knows will say the right thing to her and give her insight to the changes she needs to make.   Marriage is about growth, changing and learning... to the very end.   And they will find many areas that need to be 'adjusted' over the years.  

 

I feel comforted that there wasn't any tone of anger or violence in his voice when he spoke..... just the misguided idea/attitude that he had the right to dictate to her...and she had no right to question.   ( I saw an episode of the Walton's that was like that.. when the son Ben got married.. and the idea of 'head of the house' went to his head the wrong way!.. but got sent back in the right direction by the end of the episode...lol) 

 

Now if he had been one of those 'red neck' kind of cowboys... now that would have me worried about her.  But he had a decent 'look' to him... and I did not pick up any sense of anything 'mean' coming from his spirit.   Just a misguided man-soul that has a lot to learn. 

 

I just had a thought... sure wish Dr. Phill had been standing close by to hear... can you imagine how he would have handled it...lol.     

 

I think the thing I've learned from this, and from reading everyone's experiences and views.... is that no one generation can 'decide' for everyone how to be.   Yes, women's lib happened a long time ago.. but as each generation of females is born.... they will have to go through the learning experience, and decision making process about it themselves, and for themselves.   And they just may not choose to go along with what someone declared available for them 30 years before.  

 

That young girl, and all our daughters and granddaughters do indeed have much more freedom and power available to them.  

 

But after getting over my anger about it... I can see that in the end, it's up to them to make the choice to use it, and adapt it as part of their life style.   For whatever reason.. some women just may not want to be liberated.... and that is ok.  

 

I can see that now... but I sure couldn't see it yesterday!...  I wanted to force liberation on that girl, and my daughter, and every female.  

 

But in reality...  I have to ask myself today,  who am I to dictate they have to be liberated?   Some women may be very happy living a different life style.... and if there is not violence or abuse... who am I to tell them they are wrong?   A non-liberated lifestyle is not for me... not at all.   But.. it may just be the right kind of life style for someone else. 

 

I can see now that I got mad at them at the store.. because it went against my choice for myself...  a choice I made for myself that was ingrained in me many many years ago, not to be told what to do or what I can't do.   

 

What's right for me.. may not be right for someone else.     

 

That girl in the store.... has to come to the place where she makes that kind of choice for herself.   And my daughter has to make those kind of choices for herself also.   An educated choice....that comes from knowing all the options of how to be and live....  but then in the end... making the choice that is their's alone.   Again.. as long as there is no abuse.

 

It's pretty much how God handles things with us isn't it... that free will thing.  He has lots of "right" ,  "better" ,  "best"  ideas of how things could be for us.... but He doesn't force them on us.   He lays it all out there... and then leaves the choice up to us.   And loves us no matter what we choose.   And if we one day decide we chose wrong, and want to change our mind... He's right there with us.. accepting us, helping us make those changes... either in ourselves, or in our lives.   Without condemnation or any 'I told you so's'....and most especially, without anger.   Just his love. 

 

I was so so angry yesterday.... but after much thought and journaling... I have to conclude that my anger was coming from my inner child... and all the repressed sadness of things she didn't get that she wanted... and when she saw that 'child'- like woman being denied.... it stirred up something inside me that I had to deal with... undealt with pain of the things not allowed to want, not allowed to have.  That's why the topic of waste also hit a nerve with me yesterday.   Which again,  I won't go into here.  

 

I didn't even realise I had that anger buried inside me... till it came out yesterday.   It's just like Dr. Phil says... you can't change what you don't acknowledge.  

 

Do I still want all women liberated?... Yes!   But I now admit, it's not my job to force them into that lifestyle.   They have to be given the freedom to choose for themselves... just like I've been free to choose for myself... or they are not truly liberated are they?   

 

I didn't plan on saying all this when I started.... the thoughts just kept coming out as I typed.  

 

There is a place for anger.  There is a time to be angry.   And feeling that anger...  seeking it's true sorce and reason.. can bring good results.  It can bring healing and release and the peace that comes with forgiveness.   I was very angry yesterday, at the wrong people, for the right reasons.... to get healed of something God wanted taken out of me.   I'm happy to report.. it's gone!   

 

I feel just as strongly in my views about that couples conversation... that there is no way I'd live like that.   And while I do so hope they come to a better way of communicating... in the end,  it's their choice isn't it.   And getting angry at someone because they are not choosing the same thing for themselves as I would choose for them... is rather futile isn't it.  

 

And there again... that's kind of like how God deals with us isn't it.   He doesn't get mad at us for not choosing the better or best He would prefer we have or do or be....