Rather Elaborate Pagan Handfasting
by Brigantia Stone, June 1999
Zara's note: The materials on this page are all written by

Written by: Brigantia Stone, June 1999. I am really impressed with how organized thsi Priestess is! By clicking her name in this paragraph, you can visit her home page on Geocities.

Ritual Maiden Guardian Summoner Path Finder Order of Service
Load Plan East South West North

 

Ritual
My Elders taught me to work the rites of passage for my close Craft kin, which ordinarily means my current and former coveners. Inasmuch as our religion is highly decentralised, I wouldn't ordinarily expect to be asked to do a handfasting service for someone outside such close kinship, since most other Initiates would have their own priestess to turn to.

However, it came about that a couple of Pagans, who were well-known to me (and well-beloved), asked me to do their handfasting, and in a moment of temporary agreeability I assented. Then I had several months to think about what would constitute a workable handfasting service for my Pagan friends, who intended to have a mixed crowd of Pagans and non-Pagans, including their family and their workmates, as guests and as scripted participants in their wedding.

I still hold to my belief that as a working priestess, my primary duty lies with my own close kinfolk. But it's just possible that you or I may have to do a formal handfasting in "mixed company" some day, where the use of anything from your own Book of Shadows might not be altogether appropriate (or, indeed, recognisable as a wedding rite by many of the guests). The following script is my own solution to the matter at hand.

As far as any of us can tell, we managed to get the couple "married off" just fine and dandy. And that is what it's supposed to be all about. Timings given are in hours and minutes relative to the time of the assembly of the People (which, in our case, was planned to be 4:00 PM and was actually about 4:02 PM. )

[H - 4:00] Site open
Arrive at ritual-grounds and commence offloading of equipment, supplies, food and beverages. Simple snack-food and soft-drinks are available to the set-up crew.

[H - 3:00] Tentage up
Nuptial tent is set up, followed by the Priestess' and Keeper's tents, allowing them to have privacy for changing costumes. All tent-groups share equipment and supplies as need be

[Note: the Priestess discovered that she had packed much more bedding than anyone could ever need or want, but she had forgotten to pack any of her tent-pegs or fly-lines. Having set her tent secure against any conceivable storm, the weather was, of course, quite lovely!]

[H - 2:00] Layout
The Outer Circle, 9 metres (ca. 30 feet) in diameter, is defined with surveyor's picket-stakes and cardinally-coloured ribbon amongst the trees. All parts of the rite will be performed within the Outer Circle, or within the Working Circle that is central to it. A gateway will be placed just to the north of the East quarter of this Circle. Guests will stand around the margins of the Circle. In the event of rain, large teamsters' paulins will be strung as flies between the trees. Four altars are placed within the Outer Circle, at the four canonical quarters. The altars are small, three-legged wooden tables with appropriate cloth covers.

A Working Circle of customary dimensions will be discreetly drawn within the centre of the Outer Circle, with a passageway upon its eastern quadrant. The High Altar will be placed within the centre of the Working Circle, exactly within the centre of the Outer Circle; this altar will face to the south. The High Altar is four-legged, and provision must therefore be made for shimming and staking it into position on rough ground.

The Bride and her Maiden, the Groom and his Guardian, and the Priestess will transact the sacramental portions of the rite within the Working Circle.

An Order of Service card will be given to all guests and scripted participants. Scripted participants also receive an aide-memoire, in a form that can be kept close to hand, which conveniently details their particular role: Maiden, Guardian, Summoner, Pathfinder, East, South, West, North. The Maiden and Summoner receive full copies of this script, presented for their use in a small, weather-proof binder. The Priestess has an altar book, also compact and weather-proof, which contains the entire script of the rite plus one copy of each aide-memoire, her Load Plan for the Magic Box, and various other notes and planning worksheets.

[H - 1:30] Preparing the space
Groom and Guardian: will stake out the periphery of the Outer Circle, using surveyors' pickets and tapes. A radius-line will be used to ensure that it is indeed circular, and that it is centred upon the intended location of the High Altar.

[H - 1:15] Building the altars
Keepers: elemental altars are brought into place and set by their respective keepers; each elemental altar is placed in its canonical quarter of the working-space.

East has a fan, lighter, two charcoal, censer, incense, a yellow ribbon.
South has a red candle and a hurricane cover, lighter, a red ribbon.
West has an large open shell and small pitcher of water, a blue ribbon.
North has an empty bowl and small sack of soil, a green ribbon.
At North of East, where the gateway shall be, there is a large basket full of ribbons.
Priestess: traces the Working Circle around the centre-point, setting its radius appropriately. She then places and sets the High Altar over the centre-point.

High Altar has embroidered white altar-cloth, and the sacramental set of china and glassware; also knife, salt, water, blessing-oil, incense, censer and charcoals, two shutter-lamps for the Lady and Lord, and the Providence lamp.
On south side of altar are Bride and Groom's goblets (each has one), a small platter, and a plate of bread. On north side of altar is the Priestess' cup.
Beneath the altar are spare charcoals, decanter of wine, plate with bread, and libation-bowl.
Also beneath the altar, on ground at north side, is a consecrated butane fire-lighter, alongside sword and sheath. Broom is placed on ground on south side of altar.
[H - 1:00] Concordance
When altars are made and placed, the Guardian and Groom, Keepers and Priestess gather at the High Altar, for their pre-service concordance discussion, led by the Priestess.
[Note: a lengthy discussion ensued concerning photography: the photographers weren't altogether happy about being asked to forgo the use of flash-guns, but they willingly agreed to restrict their activities to outside the Working Circle, which allowed the Bride and Groom (and the rather shy Priestess) to remain calm and unruffled by their presence. As it turned out, the Bride and Groom were serenely unaware of anything other than each other! The Priestess, in turn, was preoccupied with keeping the service on track and scarcely noticed the photographers at all.]

[H - 0:30] Prayer
Priestess: fires the censer (which needs about 15 minutes to reach operating temperature), lights the Providence lamp, then leads a prayer for all scripted participants who are present.

Lord and Lady,
You have made the bond of marriage a holy mystery,
a symbol of Your love for us.
Hear our prayers for G-- and B--.
With abiding faith in You, and continuing faith in each other,
they will pledge their love today.
May their lives always bear witness
to the reality of that love.
We make this prayer in the name of all that is,
So mote it be.
All others: scripted participants present may now leave the ritual-grounds and attend to such business as they may have. This is an appropriate time to take a tea-break. Guardian and Groom should stick close together.

[H - 0:25] Consecrations
Priestess: consecrates elements in the appropriate manner.

She then walks the Outer Circle twice round from East to East, marking the doorway to the North of East:

Drawing round, cutting the Circle from bank to bank, saying the Kenjurie by quarters.

[Note: text of the Kenjurie is not given here, as it will change according to your Tradition and circumstances.]

Consecration round, with censer fully stoked:

Creature of fire, this charge I lay
no discord in Thy presence stay
hear my will addressed to Thee,
as I do will, so mote it be!
[Note: this charge is adapted from Paul Huson's text as given in Mastering Witchcraft, which we are accustomed to use for O.C. purposes.]

Priestess: then draws and fully casts Working Circle by herself, in a manner appropriate to the circumstances, leaving doorway open in east quadrant, collinear with the gateway in the Outer Circle.

[H-hour] Processional
Summoner: ringing a loud bell in triple peals, calling three times:

Hear ye, hear ye! - the service is about to begin...
At this time, Keepers, Guardian and Groom excuse themselves discreetly and retire to the ritual-grounds.

Summoner: once all others save the Bride and Maiden (who are in seclusion) have gathered by kitchen:

Before our service starts, I have a couple of items to discuss with you about what will be happening afterward. There will be a receiving line following the rite's end. After the receiving line, in keeping with tradition we shall all walk the Bride and Groom to their tent. Once at the tent the Bride's garter will be thrown for our single lads and of course the Bride's bouquet will be thrown to our single ladies. I ask all those who were asked to be guides to put up their hands. These people are here to help ensure you do not get lost (or eaten by bears). So let us now begin.
[Note: we were in bear country, but the principal reason for mentioning bears was to set the stage for the Bride's and Groom's nuptial gifts to the People, which were individual sets of bear-bells.]

Guardian and Groom: come directly over to the ritual-grounds with the Keepers, ahead of the procession, and enter through the gate. Guardian escorts the Groom to his place on the south side of the High Altar.

Guardian: then takes up his staff and goes to the North of East and establishes safe passage through the gateway within the Outer Circle, so that the procession may pass through it and into the ritual-grounds.

Pathfinders: intermix themselves with the rest of the guests, thus ensuring that all people have the chance to follow along. Pathfinders lead the People to the ritual-grounds, passing through the gateway in the North of East and circling around to the North of East, thus filling the space round. There should be sufficient room for everyone to stand just inside the Circle.

[Note: as the Outer Circle had been drawn at 4.6 metre (15 feet) radius, it was a tight fit, indeed. Our choice of Circle size was governed by the available clear space in the forest.]

Maiden and Bride: will wait in the nuptial tent, where Maiden had been assisting the Bride to change into her gown.

East Keeper: stands just inside the gateway and hands to everyone a ribbon (including the people who will also have an 'official' ribbon); she directs everyone to move deosil (clockwise) round the bounds of the space. Afterwards she waits just within the gate, for the Bride's and Maiden's subsequent arrival.

[Note: ribbons were cut to be 1 metre (ca. 3 feet) long; this turned out to have been too short for convenient use, and we should have cut them 1.2 to 1.5 metres (4 to 5 feet) long. Because of the handing-out of individual ribbons at the gateway, it took the People about 10 minutes to enter the ritual-grounds; perhaps it would have been better to have the Pathfinders take several baskets around to offer the People their own chance to choose a ribbon at greater leisure, beforehand.]

Summoner: is the last person within the procession, and he waits outside the gate (he will subsequently go to fetch the Bride and Maiden.)

Guardian: closes the gateway and returns to the Main Altar, where he lays down his staff before the altar and stands to the right of the Priestess.

[H + 0:10] Completing the Outer Circle
[Note: although the Outer Circle had been already marked out, and its potential location consecrated, it has not yet been completed. In this way, all of the People could be within a Pagan Circle made in a manner appropriate to the mix of Pagans, non-Pagans, Initiates of various Traditions, and assorted others (and made in a manner consistent with the Priestess' own oath and vows), and yet avoiding the impropriety of having Initiates be outside the bounds during the making of the Circle. The inner Working Circle, on the other hand, was of the Priestess' own sole concern and devising, and thus could be arranged by her as she saw fit, again consistent with oath and vows. In practice, very few of the People were even aware of the inner Circle.]

Drummer: steady heartbeat while Priestess is actually walking round the Circle.

Casting round:

Creature of earth, where Thou art cast,
let no adverse purpose last,
not in complete accord with me,
as I do will, so mote it be!
[Note: this charge is adapted from Paul Huson's text as given in Mastering Witchcraft.]

[H + 0:13] Calling the Quarters
Summoner: goes off through the forest to fetch the Bride and Maiden from the nuptial tent, where the Bride has been made ready to come to her wedding. He does not step into the nuptial tent, but calls to them from outside it.

Keepers: stand before their altars, moving around to the inside of their altar when each in turn calls in their respective elemental powers.

Priestess: turning to the East:

Powers of East, Powers of Air, I call thee forth.
East Keeper: placing incense in censer, raising for all to see

Hail, guardians of the East!
Come forth and bear witness to B-- and G--, who have come to know great love for one another, and for their children.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows towards East, turns again and replaces censer on altar

Priestess: turning to the South:

Powers of South, Powers of Fire, I call thee forth.
South Keeper: lighting the candle, raising for all to see

Hail, guardians of the South!
Come forth and bear witness to G-- and B--, who will make a daring leap together into partnership.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the South, turns again and replaces candle on altar.

Priestess: turning to the West:

Powers of West, Powers of Water, I call thee forth.
West Keeper: pouring water into the shell, raising for all to see:

Hail, guardians of the West!
Come forth and bear witness to B-- and G--, whose mutual intention is to marry one another, in this place and at this time.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the West, turns again and replaces shell on altar.

Priestess: turning to the North:

Powers of North, Powers of Earth, I call thee forth.
North Keeper: pouring soil into bowl, raising for all to see:

Hail, guardians of the North!
Come forth and bear witness to G-- and B--, who wait upon this time of great joy, with steadfastness and quiet assurance.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the North, turns again and replaces bowl on altar

All four Elemental Keepers remain standing at their altars, facing to Centre.

Priestess: turns to the East and salutes with a kiss.

[altar bell 3 x]

Priestess: kneels before the altar and lights the Lady candle:

Great Mother, whom I serve, please be here now as G-- and B-- intend to join one another in the sacrament of marriage.
She lights the Lord candle:

Beloved Father, whom I adore, please be here now as B-- and G-- intend to join one another in the sacrament of marriage.
[altar bell 3 x]

[H + 0:18] Bridal Party's Arrival
Summoner, Bride and Maiden: have made their way to the outside of the Outer Circle, and have been waiting at the North of East.

Guardian: picks up his staff and comes to the North of East, where he again makes safe the place and opens the gateway for the bridal party to pass into the Circle.

Summoner: leads Bride and Maiden to the High Altar. Then he retires to the North of East, within the Outer Circle, and enjoys the remainder of the service.

Guardian: comes to the High Altar and lays his staff down again. He retrieves the rings and ribbons from wherever he has kept them, and places the rings on the small plate upon the altar, keeping the ribbons in his hand. He now takes his place to the left of the Maiden.

Priestess: calls the blessing unto them:

Gracious Lady, Gentle Lord.
Grant Your blessing and protection upon these two,
who have come before You,
to celebrate the sacrament of marriage
in the presence of their People.
So mote it be!
[H + 0:22] Elemental blessings
Priestess:

And now we shall introduce G-- and B-- to the Elemental Powers to seek their blessings upon this enterprise.
She takes her seat on North side of altar, which the Guardian has placed there. He sets forth seats for the other celebrants as well.

Maiden: leads Bride and Groom to East:

Hail, winds of the East!
East Keeper: standing, raising the fan, facing the couple:

What is it you seek from the Powers of Air?
Bride:

We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
East Keeper: while wafting air towards them with the fan:

Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the East:
Clear understanding of each other, and of yourselves.
Knowledge that each day is a fresh start of your life as a family.
Joy in teaching your children together, and watching them learn about life.
She replaces fan on altar, hands Maiden a yellow ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.

Maiden: leads the couple to the South:

Hail, fires of the South!
South Keeper: standing, raising the candle, facing the couple:

What is it you seek from the Powers of Fire?
Groom: responds:

We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
Bride: hands bouquet to Maiden:

South Keeper: hands the couple the lit candle to hold together:

Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the South:
Shared discoveries as a family, experiencing new things together.
Inspiration to find new ways to surprise one another.
Opportunities to take on new ventures, and receive great rewards, together.
She collects the candle from the couple, replaces it on the altar, hands Maiden a red ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.

Maiden: hands bouquet back to the Bride, and leads the couple to the West:

Hail, waters of the West!
West Keeper: standing, raising the shell of water, facing the couple:

What is it you seek from the Powers of Water?
Groom: responds:

We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
West Keeper: sprinkling water on the couple:

Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the West:
Clear understanding of each other's desire.
Resolve to stand by each other, no matter what may come to pass.
Patience in those moments when your children ask a great deal of you.
She replaces shell on altar, hands Maiden a blue ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.

Maiden: leads the couple on to the North:

Hail, hills of the North!
North Keeper: standing, raising small bowl of earth, facing the couple:

What is it you seek from the Powers of Earth?
Bride: responds:

We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
North Keeper:

Then each give me your hand.
She sprinkles a little bit of earth on the backs of the Bride's and Groom's hands.

Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the North:
Strength to do what you must do, when you must do it, and together as one.
Fertility, in all its many forms and manifestations.
Stability, such that you can always meet your family's needs.
North Keeper: replaces the bowl of earth onto the altar, hands Maiden a green ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.

Maiden: leads Bride and Groom to their places at the High Altar, takes her place beside Guardian, while still holding onto all of the ribbons.

[H + 0:32] Commissioning
Priestess:

Love is an integral part of life, for without the spark of love, there is nothing to empower the mystery of continuance, and without continuance, all life will cease to be. This is how we came to be, and now we are gathered here together because our parents, and our parent's parents, and so on before them, felt that spark, and empowered that continuance, and made it possible for us to be who we have become.
So it is today that, in the presence of the People, in the power of the Ancient Providence, in the abiding love of the Lord and Lady, B-- and G-- are about to marry one another, and share that spark of love with one another, and perhaps in this moment we too will feel its passage, and again participate in that mystery of continuance that becomes life itself.
G-- and B-- wish to declare, in our sight, their formal intent to share their lives and make a family together with their children. In this day and age, many people do not feel the need to make such a declaration, and yet many more still do, for they remain aware of the presence of the mystery that underlies the sacrament of marriage, and they value this presence, and so they make their decision and act upon it as B-- and G-- are about to do.
As they make such a decision, there are four things which we must ask of them:
1. They must both understand what they are committing themselves to, for nobody should stumble into marriage with eyes closed.
2. They must freely consent to their marriage, for any sort of trickery or duress would render such a consent meaningless.
3. There must be no turning back. Both parties to a marriage must fully and passionately intend to stick with it through difficulties as well as through triumphs, otherwise they shall grievously hurt each other and the children who trust in their wisdom. From this day forth, G-- and B-- will hold each other's hearts in their hands.
4. In considering their decision to marry, we must ask them what they understand by the word, 'love'. The decision to marry must stem, not from material gain, social advantage or any other extrinsic reward, but from mutual and realistic love. A marriage without love is an empty cup indeed.
Of these four things, the one which matters most is love, the abiding yet surprising, practical yet passionate, mirthful yet reverent love -- the difficult and complicated sort of love that we have to grow into. Marriage is a place where we can learn from each other about that love.
Let B-- and G-- be not afraid to turn to us all for help when they need it. By coming here together to this wild and wonderful place we demonstrate that we are willing to stand by them as they consummate their great decision. And even though none of us, least of all them, can see what is to come, let us all encourage them as they go forward in hope, trusting in the Gods, the People, and each other.
G-- and B-- are most evidently not afraid of adventure -- look where they are standing today. Together they embrace the uncertainty of adventure, awaiting the surprising discoveries which they shall make. Love, this spark of life, is the greatest adventure of all.
[Note: This text is freely adapted to our needs from one of Flor McCarthy's liturgies, as presented in his book, Wedding Liturgies. McCarthy, who is a Catholic parish priest in Dublin, demonstrates a shrewd understanding of human nature in his writing.]

Bride and Groom: join hands as the Priestess leads the Blessing Prayer:

Let us pray together....
[Note: the text of the Blessing Prayer, as appropriately adapted for general use, was provided in the Order of Service, and also included in the aides-memoire for the Keepers, Summoner, Guardian and Maiden. I have not included the full text here, as the format and content of the prayer will vary according to your own circumstances.]

[H + 0:38] Collaboration
Priestess: raising Unity candle from altar for all to see, facing Bride and Groom:

Marriage is unique among the rites of life, in that it is a sacrament which requires not one, but two empowered celebrants. Each celebrant comes to this rite with his or her own history, abilities, empowerments, and hopes. Through the sacred mystery of marriage, all of these things are commingled for the common benefit of the celebrants. And so, in commingling their flames as one, G-- and B-- now demonstrate their desire to work together as husband and wife.
Maiden: stands to receive bouquet into her safekeeping.

Priestess: lifts hurricane cover, then replaces it after lighting.

Bride and Groom: take one candle each from altar, and together they pass the flame to the Unity candle.

[Note: because we had used shutter-lamps on the altar, owing to the windy conditions at the ritual grounds, the Bride and Groom used tapers to transfer the fire from the Lord and Lady candles to the Unity candle.]

Bride: hands bouquet to Maiden, who keeps it as she waits by the altar.

[H + 0:41] Establishing Legality and Capacity
[Note: the texts which follow are based on upon my own non-lawyerish understanding of the marital provisions of Canadian common law, which is in turn based upon English common law. The Criminal Code of Canada sets forth certain additional requirements of a clergy-person, chaplain or civil marriage officiant, in regard of marriage ceremonies. In this service I have sought to carefully honour those legal requirements as I understand them (bearing in mind that I am myself registered as a clergy-person in New York, which has its own set of legal standards) as well as keeping true to my faith and my own personal conception of the sacrament of marriage.]

Priestess: to the people:

Neither man nor woman is property to be bought or sold, given or taken. And yet, the sacrament of marriage is a contractual act, proposed and consummated by those who wish to share a life together.
As in all contracts, the act of marriage entails five things:
1. establishment of legality
2. demonstration of capacity
3. a mutual offer to marry
4. an equally mutual acceptance of that offer, and
5. an exchange of tokens in consideration of the act.
Bear in mind, however, that the rites of life are the rites of faith, not exercises in legal draughtsmanship. So it is, that we simply ask our friends if they are who they claim to be, if they are free to marry, and if they come of their own free will.
She turns towards the Maiden:

Do you know the name of this woman?
Maiden:

She is B... [full name]