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| | From:  RøøzÃë (Original Message) | Sent: 10/26/2007 1:50 PM |
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as
this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a
felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's
credibility....
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching t he description
of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do
you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room
where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: " And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your
life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these
same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and
sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The
officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line --
and we think he'll win.
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Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.
One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW,
I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our
direction."
The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating; you've finally lost your mind."
But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunning red head, face up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.
The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing.
One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long,
long time....So ... do
you think we should .. well ... you know ... screw her?"
"Out of WHAT?!?" asked the other.
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