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General : Other people's teenagers
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 Message 1 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknameßeaker  (Original Message)Sent: 12/1/2007 4:17 AM
 Rant time
 
Last night Hannah had a sleep over as part of her 15th birthday.  She had five come.  Hannah's boyfriend was allowed to hang around until curfew (which might I add, midnight for a 15 year old????)
 
Firstly the night started off with them going for a walk to the park about 8pm.  Mr B said for them not to be late back.  They arrived back at 9pm.  That was fine.
 
Then at 9.30 Hannah and her boyfriend come bowling in - the other five girls had taken off down to the park (about 300 metres down the road).  Hannah and Jacob set off down there to tell them to come back.  Her and Mr B texting each other regularly to make sure everything was ok.  Hannah text back and said they refused to leave the park.  On threat of us packing them up and taking them home there and then they came back.
 
All was fine, we set off for bed about 11pm with them sitting outside talking.  At 4am I woke to hearing the back gate rattle.  I got up in time to see one of Hannah's friends running past our bedroom window.  I went and peered through the front door window and here were four of her friends piling into some guy's car.  Luckily our dog had followed them out and as the guy was leading her back up to the gate it gave me enough time to get Mr B up and he was out the door like a rocket.
 
I'll admit he wasn't very polite to the young guy, who played dumb.  Mr B asked him what he was doing and got the standard teenage reply "Um, I dunno".  But after Mr B threatened to smack the guy's head in if he didn't get the girls out of his car, he obliged.  The girls weren't going to budge, Mr B told the girls to get out of the car and their 'arses' back to bed.  Hannah who was fast asleep through all of this woke to the commotion of Mr B ushering the girls back to the tent.
 
We spent the rest of the night with very little sleep.  Every noise we got up to investigate.  Mr B went and had a talk to them, but I guess it's pretty obvious that that would not sink in.  I was so pleased that the girls all hightailed it out of our house at about 8am to go to the beach.  They were going to be some other parent's problem for the day.
 
Let's say that Hannah will not being having those friends over again, and I'm feeling so sorry for her that her so called friends would be callous enough to put her in that position.  Apparently they were planning to go into town after Mr B and I had gone to bed to meet boys.  Hannah had told them not to, so they waited for her to fall asleep.
 
After the carnage on the roads and the number of teens killed in car accidents last weekend, I kept thinking imagine if I didn't wake up and they'd gone to town with this guy.  I didn't get a good look at him, but I'd be pretty confident that he would have been on a restricted licence. 
 
Rant over!


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 Message 2 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekarey64Sent: 12/1/2007 6:49 AM
I'd be rancid.
 
If it is any consolation, Jordan's 'controlled RTD' supply was 'helped along' by a bottle of vodka. 
 
We twigged to it when she tried to crawl across the kitchen floor because she knew we wouldn't be happy to see her that drunk (not fall down, going to be sick drunk, but way more than the light buzz we had arranged). 
 
We rounded everyone up - sent the boys home.  Settled the girls down and then grounded her ass for a month the next morning.  No point in doing it at the time when emotions are out of kilter due to alcohol and friends.
 
The ultimate insult was she didn't have a hangover the next morning.............no matter what I tried...............greasy food, smelly cooking, Crazy Frog.
 
I'm glad Hannah was the innocent party here - gives you room to breathe and something to praise.
 

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 Message 3 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameßeakerSent: 12/1/2007 7:25 AM
Yes, I'm wondering if there was something helping the also - controlled RTD supply.
 
I made some shockingly weak (for me anyways) vodka jellies so they wouldn't get hammered on them and I had bought them about 3 RTDs per person.  The only other alcohol in the house was a bottle of wine - which remained unopen when I got up this morning, so I don't know if someone supplied something else.  But given one of them was throwing up on the way back from the park - after they had only drunk half the RTDs, I should have been a bit more on to it.
 
I just never got in that state at that age with my friends... and I certainly wouldn't have been sneaking out at that time of the morning
 
 

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 Message 4 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekarey64Sent: 12/1/2007 8:08 AM
There is a red lable vodka that is only 13% and retails at between $8.99 and $10.00 for a 750ml bottle.  Some people seem to have a little problem thinking the equations through.  They see the 45% alcohol then the cheap 13% alcohol and don't stop to think that it is still more than most wines.   And being vodka - its so damned easy to drink.
 
The dickhead that supplied Jordan's vodka has moved back to Aussie and now Jordan herself considers him a dickhead, so even when he comes back she isn't interested in renewing the aquaintence.  
 
We are blessed with the fact that she has some of the nicest male friends (that dickhead aside) who are completely dedicated in making sure she is safe - even if it means coming inside and getting a parent.  Bless their little socks. 
 
 

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 Message 5 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameswëëtpëãSent: 12/2/2007 7:23 AM
Somehow I am not being filled with confidance here.
 
ETA to me being the mother of a genuine teenaged girl, 2 months and 26 days.

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 Message 6 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekarey64Sent: 12/2/2007 8:35 AM
Lauren is doing a self-defence course that I can't praise enough.  It isn't a "you can fight as good as a man" course.  It's a "get a head start and run like shit" course.
 
Basically, the tutor told the girls to act agressively if they feel they might be being followed......spin around put your hands into a fighters pose and scream "FUCK OFF" at the top of your lungs, then leg it.
 
Kick them and leg it, poke them in the eye and leg it...........anything that gains you a few inches and then fucken run. 
 
It's brilliant.  It doesn't fill the kids will stupid confidence that they can fight their way out of everything.  It gives them a chance to get away.  The only proviso is, if you can't get away, then fight with everything you've got - nothing is tabu and make lots of noise while doing it because its better to fight to the death there in the car park/street/ whatever, than to get taken somewhere.
 
Some girls seem to think they are bullet proof.  They have little boundaries and no belief that anything bad will ever happen to them.
 
I am particularly nasty.  I tell my girls and their friends there are way worse things than dying.....like needing your nappy changed every 4 hours for the rest of your life (and lying there knowing you put yourself in that position by being dumb while watching Boris the 50 stone, nose picking, balls scratching nurse aide with a penchance for touching change your nappy.)

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 Message 7 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamesickofpollies®Sent: 12/2/2007 5:07 PM
Looks like one of the few good self defence courses Karey! Most aren't worth a damn with what they teach as techniques; you'd get into more strife trying them than not.
 
Of course one of the martial arts I teach is designed for street combat: Defense dans la rue. The basic premise is to hurt them bad enough that they believe you're too much trouble to be worth pursuing (yes, it's designed to deal with multiple thugs). We do quite a bit of scenario training to help cement ideas, but essentially if you're dealing with multiple attackers you basically hurt enough of them to make your escape and no more.

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 Message 8 of 11 in Discussion 
From: LoveleeSent: 12/2/2007 9:53 PM
I must be missing something here.
My kids were not allowed alcohol, they were not allowed to parties at which alcohol was supplied, controlled or not.
Is this the thing thats done now?  Seems to me parents should move away from supplying alcohol, the kids get their hands on more powerful stuff.  You can buy homemade alcohol that is bottled in exactly the same botttles, lables and all for $20 a bottle.  The average parent wouldnt know if it was home made or not, and its usually about 20% higher in alcohol than the allowable %.

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 Message 9 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameheatherupnorthSent: 12/2/2007 11:21 PM
I have always let my boys have a certain amount of alcohol to educate them  I've seen so many kids drink like fish when they finally score some that they are paraletic spew bags!!!  I  let Luke who is 13 have 2 beers or 2 cruisers over the course of an evening if he is out with us.  That way he learns to drink slowly and sensibly not sneak off and skull some dodgy crap behind our backs.  It also makes him feel we are treating him in a more adult way.  Last time I saw a friend out with her boy a year older than Luke, her lad stole drinks thru the night and ended up in a hedge sick as a dog.  I don't know about girls but teenage boys can resent being treated like  little kids and use it as an excuse to do what they know is wrong.  Giving them a little leeway helps keep them on track and gives them no reason to rebel and go overboard. 
Sounds like a big waffle but I am on son number 4 now and so far I am so proud of every one of them, they are all so choice loving sons.

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 Message 10 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameheatherupnorthSent: 12/2/2007 11:28 PM
Oops forgot to say that may be every few weeks or once a month, not every week or two.  Also had a cock up with Luke once 2 years ago when he was only allowed the odd sip.  He skulled the bourbon left in a bottle when everybody had gone to bed and was sooo sick he has never forgotten. When I found him in the morning he had been being sick all night.  Sorry little puppy, I did the same when I was about 15

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 Message 11 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameßeakerSent: 12/3/2007 6:22 AM
I'm like you Heather, both Mr B and I were allowed a little bit of alcohol on special occasions with our parents, and we've bought the kids up to be the same.
 
With Hannah, she had to ring the parents of each of the girls and tell them that there would be a little bit of alcohol at the party but it was being supervised by three adults (Me, Mr B and his mate).  It was up to the parents to decide if they wanted their daughter to attend.  It wasn't our intention for them to get completely pissed - hence why I only bought 3 bottles each of a low alcoholic drink. 
 
It was stipulated that no one without an invite would be allowed on the property - so there was no fear of gate crashers.... so we thought.

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