MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
Oswalds Bar & GrillContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Message Boards  
  General  
  Meddlers in Time  
  Meddling in Time- Images  
  Pictures  
    
  Recipes  
  Events  
  Links  
  Blog Links  
  Member Profiles  
  Our Cultures  
  Meeting Photos  
  Kings of Chaos Age 4  
  Dark Throne Links  
  Manage XNC2  
  Manage KNTB  
  
  
  Tools  
 
General : Teenage dilemma......your views please.
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
 Message 1 of 38 in Discussion 
From: wgtngirl  (Original Message)Sent: 2/18/2008 8:46 PM
Ashton is 14 1/2 years old going on 21.  She has asked us if she can go into town on Friday night with a couple of her girlfriends from school to a teenagers club (Club Zeal).  The plan would be for them to catch the train to town and then mr welly to pick them up from outside the library (next to the main police station) at 10pm.
 
She is wanting us to trust her and cut her some slack and let her do the same things that her friends do.  However, my gut says that I am uncomfortable with her being in town on a Friday nite without an adult present (meaning it is a safety issue I am worried about).  Given that the club is in the cuba/courtenay area and there are illegal drug and booze sellers that hang around there which also makes me way.
 
Basically, I don't want her to go but I am going to look like the meanest bitch in the world if I don't.  Am I being too overprotective or do I go with my gut instinct?


First  Previous  24-38 of 38  Next  Last 
Reply
 Message 24 of 38 in Discussion 
From: wgtngirlSent: 2/19/2008 9:42 PM
Ashton spoke to Patrick last night about wanting to go out.  He said he would talk to me about it.  Anyway, when he told me about what she was wanting to do, I said to him that the version he got is entirely different to the version I got.  Transpires that she and different friends to the ones that I was told about, just want to wander around Manners Mall, Cuba Mall and Courtenay Place.  Both Patrick and I decided the answer was No.  We sat her down and told her that she couldn't go because we both felt that 14 and even 15 is way too young to be wandering around town on a Friday nite; that the last time she went out with those particular friends that they bought illegal booze and drugs (although we did credit her with not touching the booze or drugs), and also that for lying to us she was grounded for this weekend.  She took it better than we anticipated....instead of screaming and abusing us she buggered off to her room in a sulk.

Reply
 Message 25 of 38 in Discussion 
From: LoveleeSent: 2/19/2008 9:48 PM
Excellent .. a chokky fish to you and MrW!!
 
Now comes the hard part .. truly .. you have 3 days to get through with her making every attempt she can to change one or other of you two's decision.
 
A wee chat with Mr .. along these lines .. and about how you must present a (shit .. whats that word?)  joined .. combined constant view.
 
There is no discussion about it.  You have said NO and thats it .. now .. peel the spuds with me for dinner.   The sooner you move on, she will stop the sulk and making people tippytoe around her.
 
Good luck.

Reply
 Message 26 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamek1w14everSent: 2/19/2008 10:25 PM
is there something that she really wants?(not going out etc) but something like an ipod or anything like that?
 
If so, make a deal with her privately and not around the other kids.  Say to her we will have a book on your behavier and if you and Mr see that is has not fits or fights no hitting for a few weeks in a row you will buy her something she would like within a budget that would suit you guys.
 
We are doing this with Alana at the moment.  She only has 2 jobs to do and is not doing them.  We brought her an ipod shuffle(got very cheap) and although she can see it she is not aloud it until she can do her jobs for 2 weeks without been asked.
 
I have been seeing someone since Mum died because i have not been copping very well and the kids had been playing up so the lady i was seening said to try this.  For 2 days in a row with Alana this is working.
 
Good luck Welly

Reply
 Message 27 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameMìschiefSent: 2/24/2008 7:47 AM
"She refuses to go to anger management classes and counselling"
It's a trade off really - she wants you to treat her like an adult, she has to act like one.
Suggest that if she attends the counselling and takes responsibility for her own actions then you will accept that she is responsible enough to go out...
 
My parents did the same thing (although it wasn't anger management they were dealing with) and it worked for me. 
 

Reply
 Message 28 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamepantherrr0Sent: 2/24/2008 10:03 AM
proabably not

Reply
 Message 29 of 38 in Discussion 
From: LoveleeSent: 2/24/2008 8:08 PM
How did the last few days of the week go Wellie?
 
How was she on the supposed Big Night Out?
 
Mischiefs idea is a good one, the contact with a counsellor will give her some tools to use .. she might be surprised. 
 
Counselling is not the big bad wolf that many think it is.

Reply
 Message 30 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameswëëtpëãSent: 2/26/2008 5:00 AM
Tomorrow is my last day without a genuine ticket carrying teenager. She has had the attatude for just over 6 months already but she clocks up the number the day after tomorrow.
 
As of Thursday I will be spending the next 12½ years with teenagers.
 
 

Reply
 Message 31 of 38 in Discussion 
From: wgtngirlSent: 2/26/2008 7:53 PM
Well....she ended up getting over her sulk on Saturday.  She then discovered that HIM is performing in concert in Auckland at the end of next month and wants to go....we said no as with tickets, accommodation, fuel, food money, etc it was going to cost us around $800 for the 6 of us.  Needless to say she got snooty over that.
 
Yesterday, she refused to go to school because she couldn't find her hairbrush and wouldn't use mine even though I washed it under boiling water for her.  I let the school know and she will have several detentions.  Her latest plan is to get expelled from school so she can go to another school that her friend goes too....at a cost of $1000 per year.  No chance of that happening.
 
She seems to have convinced herself that she is unhappy in everything and that is an "Emo's right to be unhappy"
 
On the plus side though, my oldest Tyler who is ADHD has finally settled down.  He will be 16 in June but has knuckled down at school and is not wagging.  He had decided to go into construction (building) as a career and is doing Design Tech Pre-Apprenticeship at school this year and next year.  Teacher says he has a talent for it and if he passes this year he gets a National Certificate in Elementary construction skills and if he completes next year ok then he gets a Qualification that allows him to work on a construction site.  He no longer has any violent episodes and is now really good at getting up, getting ready and getting to school on time.  (Considering he has gained the distinction last year of the being the first ever student in the school's 50 year history to have the most wagging days.)
 
I know all kids are different so I am really hoping that Ashton will eventually "click into place" like Tyler has.

Reply
 Message 32 of 38 in Discussion 
From: LoveleeSent: 2/26/2008 7:59 PM
Ah ha .. shes *emo*   Thats answers lots Wellie.
 
I was talking to a mate about your problem yesterday, she has same aged girl cousing same problem.  Her daughter though takes more steps, when they are in bed at night, after telling her she cant go where ever it is, she hops out the window!!
She said to me what am I sposed to do .. LOL .. I shrugged!!
 
Shame her school doesnt have a truant officer, he could be quite handy at times when she cant do her hair .. she found her brush this morning??
 
Thanks for the update .. I have been concerned about you.  Damned bugger teens!!

Reply
 Message 33 of 38 in Discussion 
From: wgtngirlSent: 2/26/2008 8:32 PM
LOL lovelee.....if Ashton hopped out her window at night she would break her neck as her window is about 2 1/2 stories up.  The hairbrush turned up in the most obvious place at about 3.30pm yesterday...so I am guessing she hid it.
 
I am not letting anything she does get to me this year like I did last year.  Have been ignoring the bad language/behaviour but then you get accused of not being interested and you don't love her.  Damned if you do and damned if you don't....you can't win.

Reply
 Message 34 of 38 in Discussion 
From: LoveleeSent: 2/26/2008 8:48 PM
if Ashton hopped out her window at night she would break her neck as her window is about 2 1/2 stories up. 
 
Thats a good thing then

Reply
 Message 35 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameßeakerSent: 2/27/2008 8:11 AM
Maybe you need to let her know that if she gets excluded from her current school, that most Wgtn schools are zoned and the school she wants to go to will say no to enrolling her.  Her only option after that will be Porirua College  - Porirua isn't zoned.
 
Does she really want to go to a school where the caretakers dog cocks its leg.... inside the buildings? (it did that in front of my manager when she was visiting).
 
I would also think Porirua College is an Emo free school!
 
 

Reply
 Message 36 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameßeakerSent: 2/27/2008 8:14 AM
And well done to Tyler.  That trade is in so much demand - he'll be headhunted by big companies once he gets his quals.

Reply
 Message 37 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameswëëtpëãSent: 2/28/2008 12:20 AM
if Ashton hopped out her window at night she would break her neck as her window is about 2 1/2 stories up. 
 
That was excellent planning on your part (just bow and that the credit).
 
That is excellent news about Tyler. I guess his hormones have settled down a bit too which will make life easier for all.

Reply
 Message 38 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamepantherrr0Sent: 2/29/2008 2:16 AM
tyler sounds like some one i know, he also went into construction and loved it. i hope ya son enjoys it as much as he did .

First  Previous  24-38 of 38  Next  Last 
Return to General