| [ The cameras spark up on a gray dreary day in what appears to be some sort of field. Small traces of snow are on the frozen ground as two men are heard yelling. It appears as if it was earlier in the day.
"WELL?!"
[ Cameras pan to see Cross standing at the back of a cow and a bucket below him and in between the cow's hind legs. Seifer's on the side of the cow with a pair of boxing gloves on his hands.
Cross: No shit yet.
Seifer: This freaking cow needs to shit already!
[ Seifer unleashes another flurry of punches at the cow's stomach causing him to MOO like he was having a MOORGASM... and finally, Cross gets what he's always wanted, the cow shits into the bucket, quite a bit too.
Cross: SCORE! Wait, this shit is fucking disgusting!
Seifer: Your idea.
Cross: We got it, let's go.
[ We return to present time where we see Cross and Seifer standing in front of a door reading "The Elite Republic", in Seifer's hand is a large blue basket covered with some kind of fancy cloth. In Cross hand is a small red plastic thing of gasoline. Cross: You know, Omen should be here for this one. Seifer: Random jibberish. Cross: Did you just SAY random jibberish? Seifer: Well...It's not like anyone can actually make those noises so why not. Cross: Where's Jake? [ Jacob Mitchell suddenly pops into the scene sparking a lighter over Cross' shoulder. Cross: GASOLINE FOOL!! Jake: INCOGNITO SHUT UP! [ They all turn facing Chris Angle who walks by staring at them, the Horsmen nod and fake smile until he passes. Smiles drop. Seifer: Alright so let me get this straight. You're going to dump the gas on it. Cross: Correct! Seifer: Then you're going to light it on fire? Jake: Correct! Seifer: So what am I going to do? Cross: Hold it? Jake: Yeah. Seifer: I'm...not going to hold flaming pooh in my hands... Cross: Okay then you knock on the door. Jake: Yeah, and blood spiller whoever stomps out the fire!! Cross: YEAH! Seifer : [mad]
Jake: What?!
Seifer: I CAN'T OPEN AND BLOOD SPILLER IF THEY JUMP OUT AT THE SAME TIME!
Cross: Fine you big teal baby I'll open it.
[ The three of them walk towards the door, as Cross grabs the handle and shoves it open and with lightning quick reflexes Seifer shoots out a Blood Spiller on the figure that has popped at them from inside the locker room and WHAM! HEAD COMES OFF - LITERALLY!
Seifer: What the...
[ Seifer steps in and so do the other Horsemen, right over a cardboard cut out of George Clooney dressed like a doctor, from his ER days. No one else is in the locker room at the moment.
Jake: You just super kicked Clooney's head off.
Seifer: WHY THE HELL?!
"DUIGUDGN
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uy6
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rv5
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6jhBRTH
#Y%YRG54Y
B64H"
The Horsemen: OMEN?!
[ Inside Cross picks up a voice box recording of Omen yelling jibberish.
Jake: Omen must have put that in here, knowing we'd laugh!
Cross: He should be here man.
Seifer: Yeah, let's have a moment of silence for our buddy.
[ The three of them stand in silence.
Jake: The hell? He's not dead!
Seifer: YOU'RE RUINING THE MOMENT!
Jake: Let's set this shit on fire already!
Seifer: FINE!
Cross: FINE! SPLAT!
[ Seifer dumped the contents of the blue basket onto the floor.
Cross: That was quick.
[ After Cross pours the gasoline on the sand Jake laid over it, he gets down and is about to light it up when suddenly they hear footsteps in the distance.
Seifer: Hurry up!
Cross: Light that shit on fire, literally!
[ Jake seems to be having problems with the lighter and is growing frustrated.
Seifer: CHUMMON LEE!
Jake: Shut up, assholes!
[ The clacking sound of the heels stop and suddenly a mop of blonde hair peers into the room. It's Rebecca Rancid!
Rebecca: What the hell is going on in here?
Cross: What does it look like?!
[ The room experiences momentary silence until Rebecca suddenly joins them.
Rebecca: Lighting cow dung on fire. My favorite thing to do!
Seifer: Will you hold it then?
Rebecca: No. Cross: You two shut up. Actually. You shut up *looks at Seifer* and you get naked *looks at Rebecca* [ Blank stares. Cross: Well at least Seifer shut up. Seifer: [mad2] Jake: If it's no problem with the rest of you, Hawaiians tend to not like standing around piles of cow crap, seeing as how, well...you know...IT'S STUPID!! Cross: Well you're the one with the lighter! Jake: *Sigh* Jake flicks the Zippo and drops it in the pile o' pooh. Rebecca: Oh my God! It smells like... Seifer: ....Shit? Rebecca: ...Shut up. Alright anyways, let's hurry up and finish up. [ Rebecca gets into her four thousand dollar pink purse and pulls out a camcorder. Rebecca: Cross, will you do the honors? [ She hands Cross the camcorder as the big man reaches up at the ceiling pushing away one of the ceiling tiles and wedges the camera in the corner so it's facing down at the center of the room, he pushes a button recording as the red light comes on. Cross: Alright let's bounce like Rebecca's chest! Rebecca:  Jake: Since when does plastic bounce? Rebecca: [mad3] Seifer: OH SNIZAP! Cross: Plastic? [ Cross reaches out and grabs one. Cross: Feels real to me... [ They all stand there in silence for a moment...oh and Cross still has his hand on a jug. Rebecca looks down. Rebecca: Um...Excuse me? Cross: You're excused. Seifer: Why, did she fart? Cross: Squeezes. Jake: IS EVERYONE BUT ME COMPLETELY RETARDED!? THERE'S A PILE OF CRAP ON FIRE AND WE;'RE STANDING AROUND IT GRABBING TITTIES!!! [ Rebecca grabs Cross by the forearm and moves his hand over to Jake's chest...Cross squeezes it. Cross: Now these feel real. [ Jake swats it away. Jake: YOU SERIOUS!? [ Jake throws his hands up and walks out of the room. Cross: Yeah, I need to go have sex with a woman immediately to redeem myself. [ Cross walks out. Seifer: HEY! Where's he going!? Rebecca: Probably to find Summer Stratus. I hear she's blowing dick this time of night. [ Rebecca shrugs and walks out of the room too. Seifer reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a drivers license. He holds it up at the camera with a cheesy smile and a thumbs up where we can just barely see the picture of Drew Stevenson, Seif drops it on the floor, kicking it off to the side making it look like an accident it was dropped. Seifer looks around then takes off out of the room as well. ] *COMMERCIAL BREAK* | 
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