Penny,s Place

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A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and they sit down on two stools at the front and the guy says to the barman " two beers please barman", the barman pours them two beers and the giraffe grabs his and drinks it down in one go and then the guy follows suit. The guy then says again "another two beers please barman" and the barman pours two more beers and once again the giraffe sculls his down and the guy does likewise. This goes on for a fair while with the giraffe and the guy sculling beer after beer after beer. The two have had about 17 beers each and then the guy looks over at the giraffe who is starting to wobble on his stool......his wobbling gets worse and worse and eventually he just passes out and falls backwards off the stool onto the floor......the guy looks at him and then gets up off his stool and starts walking out of the bar. The barman then yells at the guy as he is leaving "HEY!...you can't leave that lyin' there" and the guy looks at the giraffe and then replies "that's not a lion that's a giraffe" and walks out.

What do you get when two giraffes collide? A giraffic jam.

What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete's foot.

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

A mouse and a lion walk into a bar, and they're sitting there chugging away at a few ales when a giraffe walks in. "Get a load of her," says the mouse, "I fancy that!"

"Well, why not try your luck?" says the lion.

So the mouse goes over to the giraffe and starts talking to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and gone into the night.

The next day, the lion is in the bar and the mouse staggers in. The mouse is absolutely ragged, worn out, ruined. The lion helps his pal up onto a stool, pours a drink down his throat and asks, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the gir affe. What happened after that? Was she all right?"

The mouse says, "Yeah, she was really something else! She invited me back to her place to spend the night."

"But how come you look like you're so exhausted?" asks the lion.

"Well", says the mouse, "Between the kissing and the love making, I must have run a thousand miles!"

sad news today Jim the giraffe has schitzophrenia so the zoo had to put them both down

Why has a giraffe got a long neck?
To get as far away from its smelly feet as possible

DoLittle was right all along....................

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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