Commando Reggie: The Series

 

Tonight's Episode: The Very First Reggie Story I Ever Told

 

As I sit here thinking of my next Reggie story [and staying alert in the process], I remember my first Reggie story I told.  Let me take you all back to the beginnings of my initial thought that something was not right with this little kitty.  It all started when...[voice fades, harp music plays, screen shimmers]

 

[fade in to an apartment in WA. Sept 1999]

 

Tornado/Slew:" OK sweetie.  This is your new home.  Look I got all these toys to play with and here is the food and water.  Ohh look this stuffed kitty even makes purring sounds.  Awwwww."

 

Baby Reggie:" Hmpf.  Quit talking and get me some treats will ya?"

 

Tornado/ Slew:" And here is your bathroom, and a blankie for sleeping and oh how about this nice scratching post?"

 

Baby Reggie:" [eyeing the new couch] Yeeesss, how about that scratching post?"

 

Tornado/Slew:" Sweetie, do you want to sit on my lap and we can get aquainted while we snuggley wuggley?"

 

Baby Reggie:" OMG...she's a nerd.  Thats it.  I will have to tell the other kitties I'm an orphan.  What a geek."

 

Tornado/Slew:" Sigh.  Well I guess you better take things at your own pace.  I will just leave you alone and observe the thrills of your new discoveries."

 

Baby Reggie:" Finally peace and quiet.  Here now where is that purring thingy?  Aha here it is."

 

Tornado/slew:" thinks to herself] Awww she is playing with the toy kitten.  Look at that she is pretending to be the mommy and pick it up by the scruff of the neck.  Ohhh this is too cute, she is walking with it and it is almost as big as she is. Um, why is she growling? Why has she begun to run with it?  OMG...she slammed it into the wall!  "Reggie, no no sweetie make nice with toys" Hey, she keeps ramming it into the walls!!! "Reggie! stop that!.  Make nice with toys.  NOOO do not rip off its head!  Get away from that shelf!  [screams] Noooo my knick knacks!  Reggie! Will you calm down?  [screams] MY CURTAINS!!" 

 

After two and a half hours of chasing Baby Reggie around the tiny apartment trying to salvage my meager possessions, I lay down for a looong, troubled sleep.

 

Baby Reggie:" tee hee...Tee Hee...TEE HEE...TEEEE HEEE bwaahahahaha!" Then she too closes her gorgeous emerald green eyes and sleeps.