IDIOT AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
to compare it to the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched!

IDIOT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area where we recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason? Too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these people . . .

IDIOT IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had "iceberg lettuce. "

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport check-in gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she asked, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager cheerfully commented, "This is fun; we should do this more often." No one spoke a word . . . we just looked at each other with that "deer-in-headlights" stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system wouldn't turn on!

IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked inside it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic feverishly working to unlock the driver's-side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I said
to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know; I already got that side!"

Now don't you feel better?