Short and Sweet
One Liners to Tickle your guests with On St. Pats Day

Irish toast: May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you are dead.

As the Irishman said to William Wallace in "Braveheart" -- " The Lord said he can get me outof this one, but he's pretty sure you're fucked."   and another one; " In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God"

Q.     What is Irish diplomacy?
A.     It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell.
        So that he will look forward to making the trip.

When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Finnegan.

Man runs out of a West Belfast pub with his arms on fire Police catch him and charge him with having an armalite.

Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted". One of them said, "Ye know, it's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job".