Two drunks coming home, stumbled up the country road in the dark. "Faith, Mike, we've stumbled into the graveyard and here's the stone of a man lived to the age of 103!" "Glory be, Patrick, and was it anybody we knew?" "No, 'twas someone named 'Miles from Dublin'!"

"T'was the Irish what invented the pipes, you know, and they gave them to the Scots as a joke.  And you Scots haven't gotten the joke yet!!"

Ver 1    What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?

They both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had  a job.

Ver 2   How do we know that Christ was Irish?

Because he was 33, still lived at home, thought his mother was a virgin, and she thought he was the son of God.

Q:  What is black and blue and found floating upside down in the Irish sea?

A:  Someone who tells a stupid Irish joke.

One night I was chatting with my Mum about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a penny, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance." 

Q. Why did God invent whiskey?

A. So the Irish would never rule the world.