"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.  Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.  She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.  She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" 

"Stay away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking." 

From Debra Shervo