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MEMBERS JOKES
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 **Some actual label instructions on consumer goods!!

.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
 
On a Sear's hairdryer:  Do not use while sleeping. 
(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my  hair).
 
On a bag of Fritos:  You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary. 
Details inside.  (the shoplifter special)?
 
On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions: Use like regular soap." 
(and that would be how???....)
 
On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
 
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):  "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
 
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot after heating." 
(...and you thought????...)
 
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:  "Do not iron clothes on body." 
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
 
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after  taking this =  medication."  (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those  5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
 
On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
 
On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For indoor or outdoor use only." 
(as opposed to...what)?
 
On a Japanese food processor:  "Not to be used for the other use." 
(now, somebody out there, help me on this.  I'm a  bit curious.)
 
On Sunsbury's peanuts:  "Warning: contains nuts."  (talk about a news flash)
 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:  "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
 
On a child's superman costume:  "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 
(I don't blame the company.  I blame the parents for  this one.)
.