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| | From:  DiAnhna (Original Message) | Sent: 4/16/2003 2:51 PM |
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
>stayed
>home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were
>carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "People
>held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."
>"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go, He shows
>up!"
>
>**********
>One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's
>sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed
>at the egg and asked the children, "What's in Here?"
>"I know a little boy exclaimed. . . . ."Pantyhose!"
>
>**********
>The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
>The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support
>your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
>
>**********
>Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and
>holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you
>be
>if you let go?"
>
>**********
>A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
>around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said
>loudly,
>"Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
>
>**********
>The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers
>before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My Mom is a good
>cook!"
>
>**********
>"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on
>his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising
>us. "The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. "I heard
>him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again,"
>the little boy answered.
>
>=== The Water Pistol ===
>When my three-year! -old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother,
>he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the
>nearest sink.
>I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't
>you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
>Mom smiled and then replied... "I remember."
>
>=== Half Price ===
>USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied
>their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR
>department sent out letters to all the wives of business men who had used
>the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still
>pouring in asking, "What trip?"
>
>=== Life After Death ===
>"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
>"Yes,
>Sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just
>fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your
>grandmother's funeral,
>she stopped in to see you."
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