This is for those of you who might be thinking of getting involved with other pagans in your community or a coven near you. Just some guidelines you should probably consider before commiting yourself to keep you safe and sane.
SIGNS OF A POTENTIALLY UNSAFE GROUP/LEADER
The group/leader is always right.
No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry.
Followers feel they can never be "good enough".
A dramatic loss of spontaneity and sense of humor.
Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability.
Anything the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful.
Whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned it is characterized as "persecution".
There is no legitimate reason to leave, followers are always wrong in leaving, negative or even evil.
Increasing isolation from family and old friends unless they demonstrate an interest in the group/leader.
Unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions.
Extreme obsessiveness regarding the group/leader resulting in the exclusion of almost every practical consideration.
Hyperactivity centered on the group/leader agenda, which seems to supercede any personal goals or individual interests.
Individual identity, the group, the leader and/or God as distinct and separate categories of existence become increasingly blurred.
The group/leader is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" for receiving validation, no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible.
Instead, in the follower's mind these identities become substantially and increasingly fused - as that person's involvement with the group/leader continues and deepens.
Uncharacteristically stilted and seemingly programmed conversation and mannerisms, cloning of the group/leader in personal behavior.
Former followers are at best-considered negative or worse evil and under bad influences.
They can not be trusted and personal contact is avoided.
Dependency upon the group/leader for problem solving, solutions, and definitions without meaningful reflective thought. A seeming inability to think independently or analyze situations without group/leader involvement.
SIGNS OF A SAFE GROUP/LEADER
A safe group/leader will answer your questions without becoming judgmental and punitive.
A safe group/leader will admit failings and mistakes and accept constructive criticism and advice.
A safe group/leader will recognize reasonable boundaries and limitations when dealing with others.
A safe group/leader will encourage critical thinking, individual autonomy and feelings of self-esteem.
A safe group/leader is often democratic, sharing decision making and encouraging accountability and oversight.
A safe group/leader may have disgruntled former followers, but will not vilify, excommunicate and forbid others from associating with them.
A safe group/leader will not have a paper trail of overwhelmingly negative records, books, articles and statements about them.
A safe group/leader will encourage family communication, community interaction and existing friendships and not feel threatened.
A safe group/leader will not be the only source of knowledge and learning excluding everyone else, but value dialogue and the free exchange of ideas.
Safe groups and leaders will tell you more than you want to know.
Don't be naive, develop a good BS Detector
You can protect yourself from unsafe groups and leaders by developing a good BS detector.
Check things out, know the facts and examine the evidence. A safe group will be patient with your decision making process. If a group or leader grows angry and anxious just because you want to make an informed and careful decision before joining, beware.
Syngin