((((¯`'·.¸(*)°Karen's Journal(*)¸.·'´¯))))
Well i am suppose to be taken sometime to myself to sort things about and iam sure you all know what those things are,but today is a very difficult day for me and i needed to write it in my Journal...
It's been 5 yrs today since our family lost our Fater,my dad David Edward Williams...They say time heals all wounds and it gets easyer to deal with,well they are wrong, still feels like the day my brother called me at 7am in the morning to tell me our dad passed away in his sleep next to our mother..
That shock i never want to experience again in this life time...All i could think was how was i gonna tell my son his papa has gone to heaven to live with the angels,it was the hardest thing i ever had to do... Tonight as i sit here alone in my place listening to the song daddys girl as i do every year on this day, so many memories come over me..some sad some are the most wonderful feelings ever..
I called my mom tonight to make sure she was ok and she shared some awsome stories with me for the first time about our father.. let me tell you one right now,if you dont mind reading..
When my parents were just younger lovers.Dad was living with my mothers family,well my grandmother could only speak french and my dad only english,but mom tells me they got along so good no matter what langauge they spoke, they played cards all the time..anyways, my father was prodistine or however you spell it and my mom was cathlic,well grandma told my dad all the time no you not marry my daughter cause you are not cathlic,well this was not exceptable to my dad,so behind my mothers back he began going to cathlic church so he could become cathlic,to make along story short, on a easter sunday mom's family including dad had gone to easter sunday mass, and all of a sudden the priest called my dads name and my mom was in shock , dad went up with mom's parents and he was baptised into the cathlic faith and my grandparents became his god parents..Well right their mom was crying cause their she knew how much my father loved my mom,and she ran up their and hugged him so tightly and that next week they were married...
That is one of many stories of my parents love story.. omg i just cried when mom told me this one story cause it just showed me even more what type of father my dad was...
Not a day goes by that i dont miss dad and wish he was here with us right now.. that he would pick up that phone as i called their house and hear him say hello goofy,which is his many nick names for me lol...
To hear those funny jokes he would tell me , to hear him while iam talking with mom,him in the background yelling karen your dad is nuts lol, so many things i miss and wish i had more time with him to enjoy..
My dad no matter what challenges his faced with his desease he faught it with ever strentgh he had in him, never once giving up ....The many times as i sat their just watching him, as he struggle to take a breath, to move without his legs,to just speak and eat,you have no idea what that did to me,but through it all he never once complained ever...he took his life one day at a time, never giving up also doing what he needed to do to survive..
I only hope that i have the same strength he did, that when i feel like iam slipping away i look back on dad and what he went through and decide if he can do it so can his daughter...
If i could say things to my dad i would say:
Dad i love you so much, and miss you more and more as days go by..I wish you were here with us, holding mom like you always did.. i love how you always provided for us,did whatever nessasary to make sure the family never wanted for anything...
Your grandson Tyler misses you terribly dad..he keeps his picture of you and him working on the stairs at your place next to him when he sleeps at night, and even at the age of 17 he still looks up into the sky at your star and talks to you,sure hope you are hearing him and his prayers..He is graduating this year daddy, you would be so proud of you boo boo..
Dad i hope you are at peace now, and know someday i will see you again, and never let you go..I love you dad.. This day had been hard on me, but just knowing he is at peace and no longer in pain, knowing he is with god and the angels looking down on us makes things easyer to bare..
Well another year without dad, but never forgotten...
Thanks to whom ever reads this,just needed to vent and put my feelings into writting...
Love you Daddy...
Rest in Peace
Hugs Karen aka your little girl..
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