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((((¯`'·.¸(*)°Karen's Journal(*)¸.·'´¯))))

September 18th/2007

Wow what a weekend i have had..

Cleaning appartment,packing things that i dont need out so iam prepared for when i either move or get evicted from my place...And then the landlord desides to come over and tell me more upsetting news..Seems that all the suites that they are currently renovating are now going to cost as follows..1 bedroom 825.00, 2 bedroom 875.00, 3 bedroom 975.00...So i asked her what the hell am i gonna do now, their is no way social services is gonna give me 875.00 dollars a month for my rent..I told her i was sick of the owners cause they are contently changes things in the building and with no regards to how their current tenents are dealing with it all..they dont care about us all they care about it money,the more for them the better meanwhile we are out on the streets..Iam so angry and upset over all this..

To be honest with you so many times i just say i should just give up cause i am fighting a losing battle here...I mean how the hec am i suppose to live and provide for my son, when i cannot work due to my fricken health problems , just dont know where to turn for help anymore,just wish sometimes i wasnt even around, cause iam no good right now, cannot even put a damn roof over my son's head..its making me so ill...I feel like iam losing my mind and i have no control over anything..

I can't talk to anyone about this cause nobody understands , they are not going threw this, iam...

I havent really talked with anyone, i have backed off from my friends,cause they dont need to hear all my crap anymore, i keep to myself, dont bother anyone..I dont chat on or off my computer to people, cause i just end up bringing everyone else down with me..Everyone says they would put me and my son up if i were to move to where they are living, hmm, if i cannot afford a roof over my head how can i afford to move.Sorry just venting..I know my friends are trying to be supportive and i do appreciate it,but ohhh i dont know what to say anymore..

Also their is other things bothering me but again dont know who to trust anymore or who i can confide in without it being aired to everyone else.. i know i sound mean, but i have had this happen already, so just not sure who i can confide in...

I guess you can say iam a basketcase and just feeling like i dont belong anywheres..Like i feel my life is slipping away from me and cannot stop it..Why are these things happening to me, what did i do to deserve this hell iam in..

Oh well enough with all this, signing out..

Karen