Hello... I'm continueing on the topic of my recent new interest in playing solitaire games on the computer..... 

One of the facets about the games that most intrigues me is the option to "undo" a play I just made.   Or as in the case with Spider Solitaire... the option to undo several plays!   When I can change my mind about a play.... does it then cancel out it being called a 'mistake'...?   The thought struck me how wonderful it would be if we could do that in real life!

"Ooops... nope... I shouldn't have done that.... back up, lets just 'undo' that bad choice and let me see if I can find the better one to do.  Ooops again...no, that didn't work out the way I thought... back up again... undo..... now then... let's try this choice over here.....  "

It could prove interesting...lol.   (Women already drive men crazy by our love of changing our mind as it is!)

I love clicking on that 'undo' choice, and re-making my plays on solitaire.  In fact... I even love the selection in the box that says.. "Play this same game over".   I know if I give it enough tries I'm guaranteed to win!  And I've played the same game over as many as 10 or more times if necessary... till I win.  

Something in me refuses to quit on a game till I've won it...no matter how many times I have to undo a play I made or how many times I have to just start completely over from the beginning.   I don't quit till I get it right and I win.   When it all finally comes together and all the cards go where they are supposed to something in me joyfully exclaims "I did it!"  It's a good feeling.

Yet, in real life... in the day-to-day drudgery that real life can be sometimes, it's all too easy to just give up and walk away from things.   Especially relationships with other people, and relations with family members.   My daughter and her husband did that recently.   They both elected to click on the 'undo' button and said... "Oops... this isn't what we wanted... let's undo it."   Yet, with no thought at all towards hitting 'replay' and doing any work to fix what they both decided was wrong, or that they didn't like about things.   Hmmmm... seems kind of strange when I think back to the times when my daughter felt embarrassed in a restaurant when I refused food not up to my standards and requested it be fixed.   I was expected to keep my food that was less than good... but it was quite easy for her and her spouse to discard her marriage that was less than good.  

And at the same time, part of me is jealous of her abitilty to do that.... just let go, and pursue the thing she really wants.   Her ability to detach herself from what isn't working, and to just walk away from it.... and be free.

I tried to do that recently with a different kind of solitaire game... called Spider Solitaire.   It's not as easy as Free Cell.... and I tried over and over to win a particular game.  Over, and over, and over....and over.   Something in me would not let go of the idea of  "I can do it if I try hard enough, and long enough...I can do it if I don't give up."   

And yet all the while another soft voice was also softly whispering... "let go... let it go...quit.. move on"  

It would be so much easier if we could just 'undo' a mistake and then quickly make the right choice, say the nicer thing.   It would be so nice if we could undo those bad choices and there not be any evidence of them.   

However, real life isnt like that.   Our choices, good or bad, stick forever.   Kind of like things on this computer... that I hear tell are never ever really deleted... that everything is out there... somewhere.   And so it is wth an injury, wether physical or verbal... that does heal in time... but the fact of it's origional existence is never fully erased from life. 

Today can not be relived.  We can't "play today over".... it's stuck forever with whatever choices we make in it.   However.... we can continue on into tomorrow.... and use what we learned today, to make better new choices tomorrow.  

Life is kind of like the solitaire games.... keep at it long enough... continue to make new and better moves, plays, choices... and you will win.

Keep at it long enough... you'll 'get it'.   As the saying goes, you don't lose, till you quit.

Sometimes it is so worth it to keep trying to get something right... to win.  

And yet, sometimes, it's not.   Sometimes the answer is indeed to walk away.

If you give up too fast.... you'll never know what you could have had.  

Yet, on the other hand if you keep at the old thing too long.... refusing to even consider other options,  you'll never know what you could have had if you had been willing to let go, walk away and gone after something different.  

How does one choose between the two?  It's a difficult call, and an individual call... different for each person. 

For me, there is this thing in me I call my "one more time" button.   And I always find myself playing my 'one more time' button.... one more time.   No matter how bad things get and no matter how much I feel like quitting!  It's so hard for me to just totally give up and quit on anything.   I get wore down to a frazzle at times.   I get knocked down to the nine-count at times, fixing to be knocked out for good.... yet.... I'll drag myself up off the matt of life and say... "one more try.... just maybe this time.....".  

It's so easy to walk away and quit...sometimes too easy.   And it's so much easier to run away from our problems, mistakes, bad choices....heck, we can't 'undo' them,.. so we try instead to ignore them, hide them, make them disappear from our lives.   I've tried that too... doesn't ever really work.

Don't give up on yourself too fast.   Don't give up on your life too fast either.   Play to win... and you will.   

Keep trying, one more time... and you will get it.  

If you're not playing to win... why are you even bothering to play at all?   And if you're not playing to win....you won't be looking for the winning plays to make.   That's true in solitaire, and it's true in our daily life choices.

2004 is about to come to an end forever... and a new year is about to begin.   You can't undo, or replay the bad choices from last year... but, if those same situations come up again... you can choose differently ... more wisely, and more correctly... if you want to.  It's up to you.    

God never gives up on you.. he never says there are no more chances to 'play again'.   He gives you a brand new start each new minute that ticks on the clock.   You can't undo past choices you made.. but He will keep bringing those situations back to your life over and over... as often as you need, to be able to in time, make the better, wiser choice.   

I pray you will see clearly the right choices to make in your life, today and always.   And if in doubt... ask God... he has all the right answers, and has no desire to hold them back from you.   He wants you to win.  He wants you to succeed.  Look at the great length He went to to prove that.  He gave His son... for victory in all areas of life.   Grab the victories that are yours for the taking, for the asking... for the having.   You can win!

A very happy, blessed, and winning 2005 to you.