This is what I love when I go to the beach... the vast openess of sky and water..... total freedom...no limits...nothing being "blocked".... just open, endless "space". Seeing it, gazing out over the water, and up into the sky always makes my soul smile.
And this morning my soul is smiling because I "feel" that same senses of "openess"
and "freedom" ... inside myself. And I have a name for it finally.... living "naturally"
...from the inside...from who we "are". I've finally 'connected' with that part of my
self... and it makes everything about life totally different. It brings such a great sense of inner peace. Getting to that special place inside is where you find your own, unique, chosen "path" for your individual life... and all feels "right" when you finally get on it. And what I feel now, in that place, is what I feel when I'm standing on the beach up there...all is "open".
And in this place of inner peace I also connected with what it is I really want
in a relationship, if I should ever have one. I have a new, more clear understanding of how I want to be loved by someone else.... and that is I want to be loved just for
being me... and not for what they get from me.
I know it sounds simple.. and that I've said it before, lots of times... but now.... I just see it in a deeper way somehow... a more clear understanding of just exactly what that means. Maybe it's because now I can see my "self" more clearly. I can also see now that living "off" of what we get from someone in marriage is kind of like our being feeding sharks. We devour our 'meal' person... and when what they have to supply is gone, we move on to someone else... another source of 'emotional food supply'. And then also, there are those of us who are the 'meal'...who get eaten alive by our mates.... devoured... and then spit out and rejected when there's nothing left to satisfy their hunger ... and off they go to find food elsewhere.
Soul relationships don't "feed" off of each other. Soul relationships feed each other, nourish each other's essence of being their true, their best self. Soul relationships give... they don't take. Soul relationships don't leave the other person feeling like a chunk of themself has been bitten out of them...leaving a gaping hole....left to bleed to death.
We live in deep waters here on earth... and sharks are everywhere... looking for someone to bite into and feed off of to satisfy only themselves. We live with them,
we work with them, we're related to them, we pass them on the street and in the grocery store aisles every day of our lives. We don't have to offer ourselves up as free meals for any of them.
Sometimes we are even trained to offer ourselves up as a meal for someone.. and we
literally joyfully throw ourselves onto a silver platter and dish ourselves out to them with a big adoring smile on our face... "Here I am! Just for you! Eat me and enjoy yourself! I'm just so thrilled you even want me!!.. Dive in, I'm all yours!!" And then when they finish getting all the good stuff out of us, and decide they don't like whats left and they move on... or just simply start ignoring us, we lay there on our dirty platter, all bones and crumbs and not understanding why their interest level changed. We start to feel kind of a draft on that platter...and start to feel cold. We do not realise it's because half, or more, of us is gone..and it's wind blowing through the bones of our empty self.
What was eaten off and out of me... has been grown back now... refilled in. I
have another chance at living.... the better way. From the inside out.
And when you find that true essence of your inner self.....and are able to grow and fulfill your existence just from who you are by nature.... it's so totally different, and feels so good. You then can't help but be who you are... because it just comes natural. There's no struggle, there's no questions or doubts or pain attached at all. It feels like it does when standing on the beach seeing nothing but open sky and ocean.
Free. To be.
"It just comes natural..."... now I know why I've always felt spiritually connected to that country song ....
"The Natural".... now I know why I've always felt spiritually connected to that movie....
The "message" of it was always there and other places... calling to me from the universe.... striving to teach me what I needed to learn, and to know.... about living by what comes to us "naturally" from inside ourself because that is our true self.
There is no peace like the peace that comes with finding our true, natural, inner
self. It will be so much easier to grow into the fullness of my self now. Because
now I'm living as me... and not someone else. When you do that, it just comes natural. 
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