well, this was sort of a test, nate prints all my material i am putting in my autobiography, cause i do not have a printer here, and he reads it all, he falls under the last abuse paragraph also, he is so sweet and will do anything for me but does not hear a word i say, and he also loves people to brag on him, i go to help him with food, this big frown comes on his face, he wants all the glory, he will taste my food and shiver like its the worst,
he read this abuse,page, and never saw hisself, that was what i wanted to see, they are blind,they axually can not see themselves, they are perfect,
and i see no way to reach him, and if he went to counciling cause i asked, i do not believe it will help him, he sees nothing wrong with himself,i think for awhile he may go along with me and the councelor, but change no, "how can i change the perfect,there is nothing wrong with me, i give her everything she wants.i treat her like a queen, what more does she want",
why are you always bringing up this shit, take me as i am......................." thats my nate.he gives me all he has to give.....
he is almost perfect,almost
but for now i choose to hang in there, and bring all my complaints,and whining in here, i am too old and sick to find another companion now,and thank god this is a far better abuse, then what i lived with before, lol, and i got good benifits,good food, good sex,loved and hugged on everytime he comes near me, any thing i need material wise. there are times i want to walk away from it all, and one day,and it might be soon, i just might up and go.
in a way he hid a lot from me, gave me impression
he was a suffering widow, hah, i now know of 6 women he has dated since her death, one long term,
i found a picture of him with this woman, and they were at a dinner n dance, the tag around her neck had his last name on it, it through me for a loop,first i asked who is blankie blank, he said i don't know ,never heard of her, i took the picture to him and said what is this, he said, only relatives were allowed,so lent her my name. but what hit me was the look on his face, the same look i see when he is loving on me. so i keep the picture by my computor
to remind me, keep my feet planted on the ground, i am nobody speical as far as he is concerned.