You know it's July in Florida when
- Hot water comes out of both taps.
- You find out that a seatbelt buckle makes a pretty nice branding iron.
- The trees are whistling for the dogs.
- You find out that you can get sunburned through your car window.
- The birds need to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- You burn your hand opening the car door.
- The temperature drops below 95 and you put on a sweater.
- You can make instant sun tea.
- Shade determines the best parking space, not distance.
- Farmers feed their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
- When you step outside at 7:30 a.m., you break into a sweat.
- Potatoes cook underground. This is convenient because all you have to do is pull one out and add salt, pepper and butter.
- You discover that asphalt has a liquid state.
- You realize that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
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