THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING APARTMENT ADS

WHAT IT SAYS:
spacious

WHAT IT MEANS:
- hole in the wall
- to anyone living in their car
- that's why we're charging $200 above the going rate


WHAT IT SAYS:
friendly staff

WHAT IT MEANS:
- Doberman pincher mentality


WHAT IT SAYS:
heated pool

WHAT IT MEANS:
- only when the sun's out
- only when there's water in it


WHAT IT SAYS:
workout room

WHAT IT MEANS:
- four walls, some free weights, a machine or two and a clunky stationary bike 


WHAT IT SAYS:
great views

WHAT IT MEANS:
- reach out and touch your neighbor!
- overlooking the garbage dumpster
- overlooking the pool
- overlooking the cute guys/gals apartment


WHAT IT SAYS:
pets welcome

WHAT IT MEANS:
- kids aren't, we just never got the odor out


WHAT IT SAYS:
AC

WHAT IT MEANS:
- Atrocious Carpeting


WHAT IT SAYS:
light and airy

WHAT IT MEANS:
- built as cheap as we could
- cold and drafty