The Dieter's 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
He maketh me lie down and do push-ups.
He giveth me sodium free bread,
He restoreth my waistline.

He leadeth me past the refrigerator for mine own sake.
He maketh me to partake of green beans instead of potatoes,
He leadeth me past the pizzeria.
Yea, though I walk through the bakery,
I shall not falter, for thou art with me;

Thy diet colas they comfort me.
Thou preparest a diet for me in the presence of mine enemies,
Thou anointest my lettuce with local oil.
My cup will not overflow.

Surely Ry Krisp and D-Zerta shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live with pains of hunger forever. Amen :)