|
|
 |
Reply
| | From:  ¤§ummer· (Original Message) | Sent: 7/24/2008 10:27 PM |
Post anything that makes you laugh ~ be as silly as you like but nothing too rude! |
|
|
Reply
| |
<META content="Microsoft SafeHTML" name=Generator> <STYLE> .ExternalClass .EC_hmmessage P {padding:0px;} .ExternalClass body.EC_hmmessage {font-size:10pt;font-family:Tahoma;} </STYLE> Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'
The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.
He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!! |
|
Reply
| |
Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin !!!
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
|
|
Reply
| |
|
John Within your heart keep one
still spot where dreams may go.. |
| | |
|
Reply
| |
LOL........ I like that one!  |
|
Reply
| |
King Arthur and the Witch:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do? <O:P></O:P><o:p></o:p>
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT, make YOUR choice before you scroll down to see his choice.
<O:P></O:P><o:p></o:p>
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? <o:p></o:p>
<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P><o:p></o:p>
Scroll down
If you don't let a woman have her own way, <O:P></O:P><o:p></o:p>
things are going to get ugly |
|
Reply
| |
During Summer Olympics, here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators that they would like to take back:
1. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.
2. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
3. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience, since I once mounted her mother.
4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.
5. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bulgaria</st1:place></st1:country-region>. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.
6. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.
8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh! Sh*t, what have I just |
|
Reply
| |
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work,
But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises!
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb,
So, that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What in the name of good GOD are you doing ?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out.
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
"...And where do you think you're going?!"
She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!!"
|
|
Reply
| |
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves,
You're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
Nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
Gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank
Of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in
Their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them
Into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,
She burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always Working!
| |
|
|
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First
Return to General