| | Mirror, mirror on the wall Do you have to tell it all?
| | Where do you get the glaring light To make my clothes look just too tight?
| | I think I'm fine but I can see you won't cooperate with me;
| | The way you let the shadows play You'd think my hair was getting gray.
| | What's that, you say? A double chin? No, that's the way the light comes in;
| | If you persist in peering so You'll confiscate my facial glow,
| | | And then if you're not hanging straight You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight;
| | I'm really quite upset with you For giving this distorted view;
| | I hate you being smug and wise - O, look what's happened to my thighs!
| | I warn you now, O mirrored wall, Since we're not on speaking terms at all,
| | If I look like this in my new jeans, You'll find yourself in smithereens
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