These are the words that Willow shared with me on women and healing. Willow gets to the computer less and less these days. She is 89 yrs old. Her official name is 'Standing Elk Woman' she is of the Shawnee People. I pass them to you all here, with love and respect. Her path is Witch. I have changed nothing.

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One more for the road" Feeling guilty about your own weakness and failure is ABUSIVE. You were created by Great Spirit, s/he makes no mistakes
"Bravery, is NOT the absence of fear. It is rather, being afraid, but having the fortitude to 'push on' in spite of the fear."

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HOW CAN I EVER TELL MYSELF THAT I'M ANYTHING LESS THAN BEAUTIFUL.?
HOW CAN IEVER TELL MYSELF THAT I'M ANYTHING LESS THAN WHOLE?
HOW CAN I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT MY LOVING IS A MIRACLE?
HOW DEEPLY I AM CONNECTED TO MY SOUL!
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LOVE CREATOR!
LOVE YOURSELF!
TRUST CREATOR!
TRUST YOURSELF!

While sitting in the Inipi praying and listening to the other sisters and brothers praying, crying a woman's sweet voice in song reached out. It was her "song" Listen carefully and you too can learn from it.
I was blessed with the permission to share this with you.

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Every effort that you make, whether you see the results, or not, is honored by the Creator. In this life, growth, is always painful. Try dear sister to remember, that the fire is not meant to consume you, it is meant to refine you.
Think of a single 'strand' of wheat. Standing by itself, the wind blows it where it wants to. But, when that single strand of wheat is bundled together with many others, they stand together,strong and secure. So it is with us. We are here to stand with you. We will not let you drown. You are a miracle of Creation.
Sometimes, the eagle soars, and goes where it wants to on the currents of air. But there are times when the eagle is forced to travel a path that was not of it's own choosing. When the wind tells the eagle where it is going. So it is with us. But like our brother eagle, we need to focus on the flight, and let the destination be the Creator's choosing.
Sometimes, what we view as 'standing still' or even moving backwards is exactly what we are meant to be doing. Listen to your spirit. It will never take you where you are not meant to be.

We are women and as women we are sisters-we empathize, we nurture, we suffer TOGETHER and we should know that all things are born of women, in all things Honor the woman.
From you words I intuit what and why you are suffering. What you need to understand your "devastating, painful" changes to your life is and was known to many of us, therefor we can offer you true compassion and understanding.
It is not easy, no one ever said it would be easy but never must we allow ourselves to become victims. My sincerest wish is that you could find a "Womens Circle". There is great healing in sharing with other women. There is nothing like the support of other women who listen, cry and laugh with you-who can share their experiences with you so that you will see that it is not something only you are experiencing. I realize your pain is personal and you wrap yourself in it and so perhaps you put up walls to hide behind, its a safe place behind those walls. But my dear sister the walls you put up also hold in the pain.
and you need to "breath through it" breath is life.
You are a Woman ,we are sisters
"Weak, vulnerable and depressed" you have gotten this far what you need to do is" Learn To Play The Game Bigger Than The One You Are Already Playing"

We can only control one thing in life-our frame of mind.
Our postive, calm energy can have tremendous influence

When I cannot sleep I think, I remember what I was taught, what I learned and with respect I would share with you for you to think about agree or disagree, but to hear the Song of the Whipporwill, to sing it in your heart.To wonder why it sings at night the song of days new start!

The thorn hurts as it enters the body
It also hurts when it exits the body

We have many obligations but ultimately we are responsible to only two entities: Ourself and Creator, Great Spirit.

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This is an old, old prayer-

Find a stone Hold the stone in your hand for stones are also our ancestors. To hold it in your hand as you say these words is like holding a healer. Say these words with your heart. Let your heart speak:

Grandfather you are strong for me, I feel your support in my hand. I feel your edges and your curves. I see your face that has thousands of years of living. Thank you for waiting just for me.

Thank you Grandfather, for all you are about to do for me. Please wait for me just a little more, I need to be ready for your gift.

I must hold on to my pain one last time. I need to experience the hurt, the agony, the ache. It has power over me. It controls me. Please wait for me Grandfather, as I let it control me.

I remember it all. I can see where my pain began. I can smell what was around me, as my heart muscles push and make my blood rush. Wait for me Grandfather, for my heart must ache. Wait for me as my heart cries. I must cry. The pain must wash me before I can let go.

I hold all the pain in my heart, Grandfather, I am ready to let it go. I am ready to give my pain to you. Into your patient depth, I pour all my pain. With my soft eye,I  follow it as it rushes to your waiting arms. I say good-bye to the pain.I give it all to you.

Thank you for taking my pain from me. Thank you Grandfather, for your gift of acceptance.Thank you for wanting to heal me.
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Now, hold the Grandfather stone under water and ask that the spirits of the water cleanse the Grandfather of your pain, which he holds with his strength. Water Spirits cleanse him of my pain, wash over him and free the pain. Thank you water spirits for your healing.
Clear, life giving water cleanses all things.

Closure!

This have I learned, this I was taught - this I have read and this I share with you.

A very wise man, once told me, "that there are very few things in this life, that the 'world', and those who know us, will not forgive at some point. We, on the other hand, fight hard, to remain unforgiving of ourselves. We are our own worst enemy".
Take heart, dear one. Stand strong, and unafraid. You are a good woman. Do not allow yourself the injustice, of going back over what, at this point can not be changed.
Allow yourself, to see the strength it took, for you to make the decisions that you have made.