I got the call today from Kai - she needs to borrow 100$ to make it till next payday and to be able to move out. I sat with Steve and and asked him if he was gonna make me say NO - I know I should but in the actual moment, I am just too easy. He said he knows I'm gonna give it to her anyway. He didn't let me off the hook, but he did - you know? I want this to be over. I don't want her lesson to mean she has to stay longer - I need her gone. WE need her gone.

So help me if I ever put us in this position again someone needs to shoot me -

The cats are cycling their heat again.

Kansas sent his CD Player back to me because I sent him a MP3 player and the prison won't let him have it. At least they said I can send him a replacement - before, THAT was the issue. The system is so messed up. It's designed to drain the families too... everyone pays for the crime. No one wins, no one is rehabilitated. You do the time and if your character is decent, you might make it and not go back. If you have enough money, you might have a chance and not go back character or not. It's a dark truth.

I have ended the work day and decided on a jack and coke. Dinner was done at about 4pm - I made a pork roast, rice, and not exactly a soup - it ended up being baby potatoes, quartered corn on the cob, onion, a jar of home canned tomatoes and seasoning. oh my gods the broth is amazing. I'm not a real dinner person - I like lunch to be the bigger meal and a small dinner...the broth is perfect.

I was reading The Way of the Green Witch just now. It's one of my favorite books. I wanted to share a bit here with you. The book ends with a section called wise, wild.

"Once upon a time, one of the meanings of the term "wise woman" was a woman who was menopausal...knowledgeable, posessing a pool of experience from which answers may be drawn... Simple living, conscious interaction with the power innate in the earth and the energies of the natural world, and an awareness of how humanity thinks, interacts, and evolves all provide the green witch with an insight into the ebbs and flows of energy in life in all its forms... She knows that truth is encoded and reflected in nature. Cycles--day, night, life, death, sun, moon--are her creed. Her holy text is the growth of acorn to oak. Her catechism is the decay of leaf to earth. The green witch's path is a serene one. No matter what obstacles may arise in her life, the green witch knows how to harness the energies of the natural world around her, and how to work in partnership with those energies to achieve balance once again. The path is a rewarding one, though not without its challenges." 

I thank the Goddess for the path I walk. I don't like telling my children no - but neither am I a fool. I am a green witch to the tee.